


Now With Moving Parts

by OkayMary



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 13 going on 30 AU no one asked for, F/F, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, but with a bit of a twist, i'm telling you this is just 13 going on 30, they are both woman, who love woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-02-29 22:11:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkayMary/pseuds/OkayMary
Summary: Trixie and Katya are neighbors and best friends. Trixie is celebrating her 13th birthday, trying to impress the popular girls. When she makes a wish that comes true, she struggles with her new life while trying to hold on to her past.I'm not good with summaries but it's basically just 13 Going on 30.





	1. Thirty, Flirty and Thriving

Picture day, 2002. Trixie sat timidly on a stool in the middle of her school’s cafeteria. She was placed in front of a backdrop painted to look like the sky. She had her heart set on wearing her favorite pink velour tracksuit that she worked hard to bedazzled a T on all by herself. Her mom, however, had other plans. She made her wear this itchy pink and purple striped sweater her grandma knitted her for last Christmas.

The fact that she had to change her outfit last minute left her no time to do her hair. She had to settle for her day old curls that hung around her face, slightly frizzy and flat in some spots. She pinned back some of the front pieces, just keep it out of her face.

“Okay little lady, I'll take your ticket.” The camera man said walking up to Trixie. He adjusted her seating and posture before returning to his camera. “Now, look right up at the camera, okay? Nice smile. Here we go Tracy 1, 2…”

“It's Trixie.”

“Look over here, Tracy”

“It's Trixie!” –CLICK! And just like that, Trixie’s school photo was taken.

“Oh god, I can’t be remembered looking like this.” Trixie grabbed her photos from the table outside the cafeteria. She’s looks mad, her hair was wild and the sweater looked just as itchy as it felt. Not really the Barbie dream girl she was hoping to look like.

She started walking down the hall, sulking, when a small and energetic blonde came up behind Trixie with camera in hand. She slung her arm around Trixie’s shoulder, pulled her close and took a photo of the two of them.

“Smile Trix!”

“Ugh, Katya, no more photos today.” Trixie hid her photos against her body and looked down in shame, not even wanting to ask Katya about her photos.

Katya wore a shirt that said “I’m a Woman’ on it and red pants with white pinstripes. Her long blonde hair cascaded down in effortless waves. She’s so pretty without trying and it makes Trixie so mad and even jealous sometimes.

“Oh come on, it’s your 13th birthday. You’re never going to be this young and perky again. We gotta document it.” Katya is bouncing next to Trixie as they stand in front of lockers lining the school hall.

The hall clears a path and a group of girls make their way toward Trixie and Katya.

“Hey Farrah” Trixie says to the girl at the front of the pack. She’s like a tiny Christina Aguilera. If she could do a full Dirrty look, Trixie’s sure she would but they’re in 8th grade and not even Farrah is that bold.

“Hi Mattel. So how'd yours come out?” She replied, gesturing toward the photo in Trixie’s hands.

“Oh yeah, can’t say they’re my favorite.” Trixie keeps the photos hidden against her body.

“Yeah, mine aren't so hot either. I could do better”

“Shut up Farrah, you look like a model!” One of her minions, Valentina, reply.

“Trix, I'll meet you out front.” Katya rolled her eyes and pushed through the crowd. Katya may be just as pretty as the popular girls but she would never be a part of their group. They thought she was weird and Katya thought they we’re basic robots.

“Anyway, Trixie could I talk to you a tiny sec?” Farrah pulled Trixie away from the rest of the group.

“So I told Bob that me and the Dolls were going to your party and he said he wanted to come with. It’s really too bad we can’t make it because we really wanted to be there, didn’t we girls” Farrah turns to her friends who are all nodding in agreement.

“It’s just, Ms. Davis is really up our butts with this group project and Bob is going to help so he can’t go either.”

“Well, if it’s really that much of a problem, I could write your report for you.” Trixie offers up.

“Thanks gorge!” Farrah waves and walks away with her friends in tow.

* * *

Trixie met Katya outside of the school and they started their walk home together, just like they do everyday.

 “Honestly Trixie, I can't believe you invited that witch and her flying monkeys to your party.”

 “Katya, they’re kinda my friends. Or at least one day I’ll be part of that group so maybe you should start being nicer.”

 “Gross, I will absolutely do no such thing. They don’t appreciate my amazing fashion sense or my stunning resemblance to Julia Roberts so they’re basically dead to me.”

 “I just want to be one of the cool girls Katya, can you just let me have that?” The two them stop in front of their homes that sat side by side.

 “They are unoriginal Trix, like dumb, poorly programed robots. You are the cool one.” Katya pulled a bag of candy out of her jacket pocket, “Would you like some Razzles?”

 “Will you leave me alone if I say yes” Trixie giggled and held her hand out.

 Katya poured some Razzles into Trixie’s hand before crossing the drive way toward her house.

 “Da svidania!” Katya yelled from her yard while snapping one last photo of Trixie.

 “Au revoir!” Trixie replied before heading into her house next door.

* * *

Trixie sat in her mirror applying more pink blush to her cheeks, double checking the wings of her eyeliner and making sure her curls sat just right around her face. She had Dolly Parton playing on her TV in the background, bopping about to the music as she got ready for her party. Maybe a little inspired by Dolly, Trixie stuffed a handful of tissues down the top of her sparkly pink dress to make her boob look like they actually exist.

 “Hey, sweetie! Happy birthday!” Her mom barges in her room with balloons. How’s your new life as a teenager? Is this blush? Are you wearing a bra?”

 “God mom, you’re being so embarrassing! Get out!” Trixie shouted before flopping herself face down into her bed. “I look rotted. I hate my life.”

 Trixie’s mom sits next to Trixie on her bed, “Bee, you’re not rotted, whatever that means. You’re beautiful in your own way. Plus, you’re still young. You have time to grow.”

 Trixie sat up and grabbed the magazine sitting at the foot of her bed, “I want to look like these women mom. Look, ‘Thirty, Flirty and Thriving. Why the 30s are the best years of your life’. I need to be older to be beautiful and successful. For god sakes, Dolly didn’t even write Jolene or I Will Always Love You until she was like 28! I just wish I was older."

 “Well, you will be, honey but you just turned 13 so let’s get through that first.

* * *

Trixie finished setting up for her party down in the basement and turned on some music as she waited for her guests to arrive. Waterloo by ABBA started playing and she broke out into a full performance, choreography and all.

ABBA is her mom’s favorite band so she grew up dancing around to them daily. There was something about their 1974 hit single Waterloo that spoke to Trixie. Her whole childhood, Trixie not only made Katya watch her perform it constantly, but she also made her learn a choreographed dance with finger points and leg kicks. It was her happy song.

Katya came down the stairs carrying a huge cardboard box with a neat pink ribbon around it. She stopped and smiled at Trixie’s dancing before making herself known.

Katya was the only person besides family that Trixie would sing in front. Sure she wanted to be a singer one day. She just watched Kelly Clarkson win American Idol and was sure that would be her one day but for now she kept it under wraps.

“Happy birthday! I come barring gifts and yes, I am part of the gift, your welcome”

Trixie helps Katya with the box, setting it down on a near by table. “What is it?”

Katya’s eyes light up, “You know how you always wanted a Barbie Dream House?” Trixie nodded as she lifted the box, “Well, I decided to make you your own Trixie Dream House! Now you can fully live your Barbie fantasy!”

“You made all of this?” Trixie was in awe of the work put in to this gift, “And it’s not like a haunted house with like baby hands or creepy witches?”

“Yes! See, that's you in your bubble bath, writing a song. And there's your bedroom, pink of course, with a massive stereo and every Yee Haw record ever made.” Katya points out every little detail of the house.

“And there's that bum Paul Rudd just loafing on the couch and there I am, to make sure that no funny business happens.” Trixie laughs at Katya’s over the top explanation but admires the work.

“Oh, almost forgot. I got you this hocus pocus magic wishing dust. I don’t really think it’ll work, duh, but it says, ‘This wishing dust knows what's in your heart of hearts. It'll make all your dreams come true.’ So it’s worth a shot.” Katya sprinkled it on top of the house.

“This is amazing Katya, I really appreciate it. Thank you.” The door bell rang and Trixie jumped up frantically “Oh my god! The Dolls are here. What do we do?” She straightened out her dress and turned up the music. She ran back over to the dream house and ran to the closet with it.

 “Kat, I’m just going to put this away okay, gotta make room for dancing and whatever.” Trixie ran upstairs to get the door.

Trixie’s little sister is standing by the door, getting ready to let the guests in. “You promised you'd stay upstairs!” She pushed her toward her mom and answered the door. All 6 of the doll stood there, “Hey guys, party’s downstairs,” with Farrah leading the way, one by one they walked inside, throwing their jackets into Trixie’s arms.

“Oh wow, okay yeah, see you down there” Just then, Bob and his friends pull up and walk toward the door.

 “Hi, glad you can make it, party’s downstairs!” Trixie fluttered her eye and tossed her hair over her shoulder hoping to be giving off flirty vibes. They guys just nod and walk through and head downstairs.

Downstairs, Katya is trying to get the party started by wiggling around to some Russian rock song she’s fully aware that nobody knows but that doesn’t stop her from having a good time.

 Everyone else is standing around staring at her like she some kind of street preforming monkey.

 Farrah walks over to Trixie who’s also just staring at Katya thrashing herself around, “What is this music.”

 “I don’t know, Katya put it on.”

 Farrah moves over to Katya, took the CD out of the player and handed it to her. “Sorry weirdo but majority rules and the majority of us say this sucks.” Farrah put on some generic pop music and Katya walked over to Trixie.

 “Hey so I’m just gonna go next door and grab something.” Katya was clearly over the party but didn’t want Trixie to feel like she was bailing on her.

 Trixie looked over at Farrah and her friends before replying, “Cool Katya, it’s not like I need an itinerary of your day.”

Katya was visibly upset that Trixie was being dismissive and Trixie felt bad when she saw Katya’s face but the room erupted into laughter and she felt too cool to care. Katya just rolled her eyes and headed up the stairs.

 “So I have a great idea, lets play 7 minutes in heaven” Farrah spoke, taking back the control of the room. “In fact, Trixie can go first because it’s her birthday!” Farrah tied a scarf around Trixie’s eye and led her toward the closet. “Bob wants to go first so you’ll get to do whatever you want with him for 7 whole minutes” she whispered to Trixie.

 Farrah placed Trixie in the closet, “Before I forget, where's our project?”

 “On the table by the stairs”

 “Thanks gorge” and Farrah closed the door with Trixie inside.

 Farrah tip-toes back to the group, project in hand. “Let’s get out of here, I can get my brother to buy us beer.” Farrah whispers and the group quietly makes their way upstairs.

 On their way out, they run into Katya. “Um, what’s going on? Where’s Trixie?” Katya asks.

 “Oh she’s waiting for you in the closet but I think she should just come out.” Farrah giggles at her own joke. “Bye lezbo!” and she ran out the door to catch up with her group.

 Katya walks over to the closet and opens it to see a blindfolded Trixie sitting on the floor.

“I thought you weren’t gonna come.” Trixie says with a sly smile. Katya doesn’t reply, instead she’s joins Trixie on the floor. Does Trixie really feel the same way about her as she felt about her?

 Trixie reach out and Katya grabs her hands and slowly leans forward, “Oh Bob” Trixie calls out causing Katya to jump back.

 “I’m not Bob, It’s Katya.”

Trixie yanks off her blindfold and looks around and see only Katya. “Where did everyone go? What did you do? Did you scare them off?”

 “They where leaving when I came back from my house!”

 “Get out! Get out! I hate you! I hate me! I hate everybody!” Trixie closed herself into the closet and sunk down to the floor.

 “Trixie what are you talking about? Let me just show you our other gift. It'll make you feel better.” Katya tries to reason with her through the door.

 Trixie slams her back into the shelves behind her and magic dust falls on her from the dream house as she repeats, “I wanna be 30. Thirty and flirty and thriving.”


	2. Who’s my team?

Los Angeles 2019. Trixie slowly started to wake up, stretching every limb out as far as she could. It feels like she’s been asleep for years. She sat up, trying to wake herself up, eye mask still on.

 

Something feels off. She lifted her eye mask off and takes in her surrounding. This is a bedroom. This is not HER bedroom. This is not any room at her house. She stood up and walked over to the door. Peeking out, she doesn’t recognize anything. This is definitly not her home.

 

“Mom!?” she started to creep into the hallway, in search of any familiarity. She made it to an empty living room, “Jamie?!” she calls out in hopes of a reply from her mom or sister.

 

She passes a mirror hanging on the wall and catches a glimpse of herself out of the corner of her eye and it stopped her dead in her tracks. She turned to face the mirror and could not process what she saw.

 

She was looking at herself but a much older version of her. It made her scream and shut her eyes quickly thinking maybe this is a dream. It had to be a dream.

 

When she opened her eyes and the same older version of her face was looking back at her.

 

She got closer to the mirror, examining her face. Her face was thinned out but she still had round cheeks, her blonde hair was more blonde, longer and fuller. She looks down and saw she was wearing a pink silk night dress and she had boobs! Like real, big boobs!

 

She backed away from the mirror, trying to get a grip on reality.

 

“Oh god okay what’s going on? What’s happening? Where am I? What’s going on” Trixie starts whispering to herself, wondering around the room.

 

She needed a minute to collect her thoughts. She walked further into the living room and sat on a chair and took a deep breath. Looking down at the coffee table, she notices a pile of mail all addressed to her, Trixie Mattel. “Okay, so I live here” she says under her breath.

 

A loud ringing noise starts going off somewhere, but it’s not a sound Trixie recognized. She followed it and found what she thinks is a phone but it has no buttons. A picture of blonde woman holding a drink is on the phone but it’s not someone she knows. She was going to attempt to answer but she hears a shower turn on and it startles her.

 

“Trix, are you out there?” a voice calls out from another room. Trixie tried to hide but realizes there’s nowhere to go so she picked up a nearby shoe as a weapon.

 

“Babe, where’s your conditioner?” a short woman with heavy makeup and long green wild wavy hair walked out wrapped in a towel. When she finally sees Trixie, standing with a shoe pointed at her, she giggles.

 

“I feel like I should be worried but you look kinda hot right now, not gonna lie.”

 

“Oh wow okay, um I have to go” Trixie spins around and head for there door.

 

“Are you sure? You can join me if you’d like.” Wiggles her eyebrows and turns to flash Trixie her butt.

 

Trixie grabs the other pink cowboy boot, the fuzzy blue jacket and purse by the door and runs out.

 

* * *

 

 

Trixie is, some how, even more lost now that she’s outside the house. She in a pretty big gated yard with a car parked in the sizable driveway.  She starts to hear the phone ringing again and tries to locate it. A small blonde hops out the car, talking on a phone. 

 

“Trixie, there you are – No I got her, she's getting in the Uber now. Yes, we are. Trixie hey, can you please get in? We’re running late.” A small blonde woman is standing by a car with the back door open, waving her in. She is half on the phone, half talking to Trixie.

 

“Yes, tell him I got it. He has my number, my name is Farrah, Bye” The woman hangs up the phone and waves a coffee cup at Trixie. When she realizes Trixie isn’t walking toward her, she begins to whine “Please get in, ugh, Dela is going to be mad!”

 

“I actually don’t get in cars with strangers, thanks.” Trixie finally replies. The woman from the shower is now standing at the front door in just a red flannel “Hey Trixie, when will you be back?”

 

Trixie looks between the two women and decides going with the not half naked stranger would be the safer bet. She grabs the coffee and slides into the car.

 

“Trixie, sweetie, you know I only say this because you're my best friend and I love you. I know this is like really on brand for you but this vintage slip is something else. You couldn’t have changed first?” Farrah says.

 

“Are you really my best friend?” Trixie question.

 

“Oh my god are you still drunk from last night?”

 

“No oh god no! See this is going to sound crazy but I woke up in a house I’ve never seen before and there was a naked woman in my shower” Farrah just rolls her eyes.

 

The Uber stops in front of a building and Farrah opens the door and hops out. Trixie follows her out, trying to keep up.

 

“Wait, look, I’m telling you that it sounds like a dream but I’m 13 and I –“ Farrah stopped walking, making Trixie stop, nearly running into her.

 

“Okay, Trix, If you’re going lie about your age, aim for something believable like 27. Even I can’t pass for 13.”

 

“I’m telling you I don’t know what’s going on or why it's happening but yester –” Farrah grabbed her by the shoulders.

 

“Trixie, listen, we have a meeting in 15 minutes so I really need you to calm down and repeat after me: I am Trixie Mattel, country pop superstar and a skinny legend.”

 

Trixie is stunned by that title “I am?!”

 

“Just say it girl!”

  

“I am Trixie Mattel, country pop superstar and a skinny legend.” Trixie repeats with a sense of pride in her self.

 

“You are going to march into your office and start that meeting and let your team know what you expect from this tour because the young dykes of the world depend on it!”

 

“My office? I’m running the meeting? About my tour? For dykes?”

 

“Oh god you’re stressing me out and I’m pretty for worry lines. Okay lets just go in.”

 

As the walked into the building, it looks like they walked into a Polly Pocket home. Everything was pink and blue and fuzzy and pastel. Theres bowls of candy out on the front desk with Ring Pops and gum balls. It was some how simple and too much. Childish and playfully mature.

 

Trixie looked around in wonderment at this place until a new voice caught her attention.

 

“Good Morning Ms. Mattel, Farrah.” The adorably dressed Asian receptionist greets them with a pleasant lisp.

 

Trixie gives a quick wave but continues walking in step with Farrah.

 

Farrah leads Trixie into a conference room toward the end of the hall. It had light blue walls and a bright pink carpet. There was a long table in the center of the room with chairs around it.

 

Farrah takes a seat with a group of other people and point at the the chair at the head of the table, silently telling Trixie to take her own seat.

 

The receptionist comes in with a sprinkle donut and a can of Red Bull and sat it next to Trixie.

 

“Can I get you anything else?” she asked Trixie.

 

“Yes, I need to find this woman, maybe she lives in San Francisco? I have her number” Farrah clears her throat and Trixie know she should start the meeting so she quickly writes down Katya’s name and a number and handed it to the woman.

 

Trixie stood up and straightened out her slip. “Hello everyone, thank you so much from coming to my very important music meeting.” She looked around and everyone was looking at her expecting her to say something important, she just wish she knew what.

 

“Unfortunately, I guess I’m hung over because alcohol and can’t remember what I wanted to talk about so…you’re dismissed. I will reschedule later. I’m very sorry.” A woman with big black hair and a very pleasant face was sitting to the left of her, looking very disappointed in her and it somehow made her very sad and embarrassed.

 

Not wanting to be in front of all those people anymore, Trixie turned on her heel and walk out the room and down the hall until she found a door with a plaque that read “Trixie Mattel: CEO of Skinny Legend Inc.”

 

She walked in, closed the door behind her and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, she really took in the office. Everything was shades of pink, blue and yellow. Platinum records, photos, shelves of awards and vintage boxed Barbies line the walls.

 

She walked closer to the wall of photos and saw the only person she really recognized in them was the naked girl from the house and the disappointed woman from the meeting. Great.

 

There was a knock at the door. Trixie crossed the room and answered it, just cracking the door open hoping to not have to face anyone she let down moments ago. The receptionist stood there with a few sticky notes and a smile on her face.

 

“Hi Trixie! I have your messages. One: Your mom called. She’s on a vacation in Hawaii.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me my mom called!”

 

“You said never to bother you about family because they just want your money.”

 

“I’m sorry…uhh, what’s your name?”

 

“Kim or um Kimberly. Whatever works for you.”

 

“Kim. Well from now on, if she calls, let me know. Thanks!” Trixie smiled and started to shut the door.

 

“Wait, I have the information you wanted.” Kim added quickly.

 

“Katya! Yes! Come in!” Trixie pulled her into her office and slammed the door shut.

 

“The number you gave me; it was her parents number. I told them I was the IRS and she’s in a lot of trouble so they gave me her address.”

 

“You lied to the Zamos! That’s bold.”

 

“Anyway, she’s in West Hollywood. Here’s her address.” Trixie took the piece of paper and ran out the door. She stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she was out of the room and turned around.

 

“I don’t think I know how to drive. How do I get there without a car?”

 

“Ummm, call an Uber?”

 

“Okay, who is he?”

 

“Let me see your phone. You celebrities really can’t do anything for yourself” Kim laughed playfully, grab Trixie’s phone and tried to help her understand it’s basic functions.

 

* * *

 

Trixie arrived to the address Kim gave her. It was a nice apartment building, tucked away on a side street, right off Santa Monica Boulevard. Hoping she got the right place, Trixie walked up to unit 4 and knocked.

 

The door opened and there was Katya. She was wearing a black dress with little pearls made to look like blood-shot eye balls all over it. She’s exactly what Trixie imagined a 30-year-old Katya would look like. She wore heavy black eyeliner and bright red lips. Her long wavy hair was cut into a more tamed but still wavy looking bob and she had choppy bangs.

 

“Katya?”

 

“That’s me…I don’t want your cookies” she answered, the door still only a crack open.

 

“You’re so tiny and like really beautiful. Oh wow, you’re so different but the same.”

 

“Well I’m more like a Russian Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. That’s besides the point, can I help you?”

 

“She doesn’t know who I am?” Trixie start muttering to herself and pacing in front of the door “It’s so crazy, just, it was just yesterday but it wasn’t yesterday because I’m not 13 and –“

 

“Wow, fame has really gotten to you. Of course I know you, Trixie Mattel.”

 

A wave a relief washes over her when she hears Katya call her by her name. Katya opens the door all the way and Trixie immediately wraps her in a hug and then walks around her into the apartment.

 

“Oh! Okay, umm sure bedtime Barbie, come on in.”

 

Katya’s apartment is filled with photos. Her walls are covered in photos of people and weird objects. She has some scattered across her dinning room table and on the coffee table in the living room.

 

Trixie picked up a print from the coffee table and stared at it, head cocked to the side. “You still take photos!” Trixie asks enthusiastically.

 

“Yup. It’s what pays the bills. So uhh, Trixie, why are you here exactly?”

 

“Kat, something really weird is happening okay. Yesterday was my 13th birthday but when I woke up this morning, I’m this and you’re…THAT!” Trixie is frantic trying to get Katya to understand.”

 

“Okay, I thought I was the crazy junkie,” Katya muttered under her breath. “Trixie, has your fame gotten you? Are you on some sort of drugs or?” Katya is looking at Trixie like she just saw an alien.

 

“No I’m not on drugs! I’m telling you, I don’t now that happened Kat, I was in the closet and now it’s like I skipped everything”

 

“Well at least you missed the coming out part” Katya laughed at her joke.

 

“And that! What is that about? A naked girl was in my house this morning! I mean I’ve always thought girls were pretty. I always thought you were so pretty. And sure I thought about kissing girls sometimes but I’m gay now?”

 

“Trixie, you were always gay but high school is where you really um, explored that and came out.” Trixie just shrugged.

 

“Yeah I guess that makes sense.” She continues walking around, not really questioning that any further.

 

“Ummm, are you –” Trixie started to ask, “Oh yeah I’m a big ol’ homo.” Katya finished.

 

“It’s like I’m in some weird dream, Katya. I can’t remember my life so I need you to help me remember it.”

 

“Me? No I can’t do that” Katya says, actually confused about Trixie asking for help, let alone being here.

 

“Well why not?”

 

Katya walked toward her balcony, lit a cigarette and took a drag before answering. “Trixie, I don’t know anything about you. I haven’t even seen you since we graduated high school.”

 

Trixie is in a stake of shock and took a seat on the couch trying to processes the news.

 

“No, there’s no way. It’s always been us.”

 

“Sorry mama but we are not friends. Haven’t been in a very long time.”

 

“But Katya, you’re my best friend.”

 

“Nope.” Katya replied gloomily replies, stubbing out her cigarette. When she turned around, she noticed Trixie beginning to panic. She came over and sat next to Trixie rubbing her back.

 

“Hey, you gotta breath. What do you need?”

 

“I think I need some fresh air, I’m gonna be sick.”

* * *

 

Katya and Trixie take a walk down Santa Monica Boulevard. Katya promised to answer any questions she could to try and help Trixie piece her life together.

 

“We went our separate ways. We went to different colleges. We really just had different paths and when your career blew up, I didn’t want you to think I was reaching out because you’re famous, nor did I think you wanted to hear from me.”

 

“Okay but what about Christmas. We’re both home, did you want to see me then?”

 

“Christmas, right, I guess I saw you through a window like 6 years ago. I wasn’t exactly always home for the holidays myself.”

 

“6 YEARS AGO??!”

 

Katya laughed, this whole thing is so ridiculous to her, “Trix, doesn’t your team go to like, the Bahamas for Christmas?” Trixie just shrugs because she really doesn’t know the answer to that.

 

“Oh. I think this is me. I guess I have my own office now and this is it” They stop outside the the entrance while Trixie fishes her keys out of her purse.

 

Katya taps her fingers against the pack of cigarettes in her pocket, desperate for one.

 

“Okay, well, it was nice seeing you.” There a beat of silence as Trixie realizes Katya isn’t staying, “And good luck with the whole memory loss thing.”

 

“Okay, bye.” Trixie continue to stand there as Katya walks away. “Katya, who is my team?”

 

* * *

 

"Ah yes, my peek years, high school.” Katya grabs a yearbook off a shelf and places it in front of Trixie who immediately starts flipping through it, desperate for any information. 

 

Katya decided to make sure Trixie got home and to see if anything back at Trixie’s house would help jog memory.

 

She lands on a photo of her with Farrah and her friends, Valentina and Shea. “Katya, was I one of the dolls?”

 

“One of them? Mama, you were the leader.” She snaps her fingers at Trixie and turns her attention back to the shelves.

 

“Wow, there’s Farrah. I wonder what ever happened to her.” Trixie continues to examine the photo.

 

“Well based on your Instagram, I’m pretty sure you’re still friends. I think she actually works for you.” Katya is just looking around Trixie’s living room as she takes in the new information.

 

“Oh yes Farrah Marten is now Farrah Moan. She looks so different now.” Trixie is half talking to Katya, half talking to to herself.”

 

“Yes, she’s really into plastic surgery and highlighter so bright it’ll blind you.” Katya pulled out a cigarette and is leaning out of a window.

 

“OH! Oh my god I was prom queen!”

 

“Yup”

 

“And I took Pearl Liaison!?”

 

“Mmhm. I told you, you really explored your lesbianism in high school.”

 

“So, when I came out, did umm…how did my mom and sister take it?” Trixie asked, not making eye contact with Katya afraid of her answer.

 

“Well my mom said Deb kinda always knew so she supported you. She’s your biggest fan. Same with Jamie.” Trixie smiled and looked up at Katya who has perched herself up on the window, smoking.

 

“And when you told Pat?” Trixie wanted to make sure Katya still had a support system.

 

“She’s great. She’s super supportive. She goes to Pride with me. Dad, needed time, but we are all great now.” Katya gazed out the window.

 

“We really turned out alright, didn’t we?” Trixie say in her dreamy state of mind

 

“Yup, you got it all Barbie, dream house and all.” Katya says mostly to herself, taking a long drag of her cigarette.

 

The sound of a phone ringing broke them both out of their trances.

 

“Um Trixie, that’s your phone”

 

“Oh! Yes, my cell phone!” Trixie answered the call with a new sense of happiness. “Hello, This is Trixie….Mhm…OH my driver…a party? Yes of course I’ll be ready at 8:30. Thank you!”

 

“Well Trix, it seems you’re back to normal so I’m going to get going.” Katya is now standing by the door, grabbing her jacket.

 

“Wait, there’s a party at 8:30 at some place called The Avalon tonight if you wanna come!” Trixie is giddy at the idea of going to a big fancy party.

 

“Yeah, I’m not really a party person anymore and I have to edit some photos for work.” Katya turns and opens the door and starts to walk down the path to the gate.

 

“Well if you change your mind, the invitation will stay open!” Katya just gave her a soft smile and turned to walk away.

 

“Oh and Katya!” She stops again and faces Trixie.

 

“Da svidania” Trixie smiled and give Katya a small wave.

 

“Yeah, see ya.”

 

“Kat” Trixie gives her a look and Katya knows what she wants, just like there kids again.

 

“Au revoir” and with that she turns and walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! If you know what the SugarPill offices look like, THAT is how I picture Trixie's office. I'm introducing more charters and getting into the changes I made from the original story. Let me know what you think!


	3. Waterloo

Trixie was finally alone and feeling better about her 30-year-old life. Whatever happened between her and Katya in the past, she planed to fix and today showed promising signs that it could be done. She couldn’t picture a world without Katya as her best friend.

 

Tonight, however, she’s had a party to attend. Her first ever adult party and she wanted to look absolutely fabulous. She hopped in the shower to start getting ready for her night.

 

As she’s got out, she heard her doorbell ringing. Panicked, she grabbed the fuzzy pink robe hanging on the back door and threw it on. The doorbell rang a few more times and Trixie picked up speed, running to see who was there. Before she could get to the door, 3 people with various bags in their hands let themselves in.

 

“Trixie, girl, we only have 2 hours until Dela wants you at the party. Why are you so slow right now? Is your hair wet? Now I’m going to have to blow it out first.” A beautiful heavy set woman, with big blonde hair and a blue dress that made her look like a 1950's housewife, walked past Trixie. She set her bag down on the kitchen island and quickly pulled things out and set them up.

 

“Oh yes of course, my hair and makeup team here to get me ready because I’m famous so people do things for me" She mumbled under her breath, centering herself, so she didn't look as frazzled. "So sorry, I’m ready!” Trixie sits on the chair closest to where the woman was setting up.

 

“So Miss Trixie, are you feeling more of a blue bombshell look or like a bubblegum pink fantasy?” A very handsome man dressed in all black came up to Trixie, already having his things out near the blonde woman’s bag. He stared rubbing cream into her face, making it impossible for Trixie to reply.

 

“Raven, I think Raja only brought pink looks for her tonight so work with that.” The blonde woman said as she started working her fingers through Trixie’s damp curls with one hand, blow dryer in the other.

 

“I made a choice for her already, actually. I’m putting her in a short, metallic, hot pink, real 80’s inspired dress. How ever that speaks to the both of you, miss Delta and Raven, so be it.” they toss a garment bad over the back of the couch and then plopped themselves down, never breaking eye contact with their phone.

 

This woman…man? Trixie isn’t sure honestly. Raja. Raja spoke with a deeper voice than Trixie was expecting. Their long grey hair was pulled up into a messy bun with wild flowers stuck sporadically in around the bun, like they picked them on her way over and just stuck them there. They had make-up applied to their beautiful, angular face. Raja was wearing a dress that just looks like a long tshirt and black Doc Martians. 

 

Raja sat there, totally unbothered by the other two, phone in hand. “Trixie, want to do toot or boot of the Met Gala looks with me on Instagram live? My followers loved your puns last time.”

 

Trixie didn’t understand a single word that just came out of Raja’s mouth. Raja seemed cool so she didn't want to embarrass herself in front of them.

 

“No grandma. She’s trying to get ready. I’ll do it when I’m done. I’m sure I’ll finish before Delta.” Trixie is relieved Raven stepped in. She’s not sure what Instagram is but she’s sure she doesn’t want to do it for the first time live.

 

“Yeah, people do keep asking when you’re going to join me again. Fine, I’ll settle for you.” Raven’s jaw dropped before he started laughing and threw a make-up brush at Raja.

 

“You two are children. I don’t know why I’m still friends with you guys.” Delta is still fully focused on teasing the roots of Trixie’s hair.

 

“Because we’re your children and you love us mommy!” Raja runs over to Delta like a child and wraps her arms around her waist.

 

“Get off of me Raja.” Delta doesn’t look away from what she's doing but Raja does as they're told and throws themself back on the couch.

 

Trixie is lost in their dynamic but she loved it. She stopped trying to follow their banter after the last time she was addressed. She just sat back while Delta and Raven glammed her up and enjoyed the show they put on.

* * *

 

Trixie arrived to the party and was escorted around the building, through the back. Driving past, it didn't look anything like the big celebrity parties she saw in the magazines when she was growing up. There were no long lines, no photographers, not even a red carpet. Trixie wondered how famous she actually is. She made a mental note to ask Kim how to look herself up later.

 

The car pulled up to the door and she slid out with her glam team in tow. They were led into a room with a few couches and a table of snacks and drinks. The team broke off from Trixie, making themselves comfortable on the couches. They didn't look like they were going to be joining the party, which Trixie thought was a shame because they seemed like they'd be a lot of fun. They also became like a safety blanket for her and now she's back to not knowing anyone.

She wanders over to the tables to see what kind of treats she can find. The were a lot of Red Bulls, chips and candy but also bottles of alcohol and sodas. She started picking around the snacks when a squeal startled her, causing her to drop the Cheez-It she was holding. 

 

“Trixie! How’s my favorite angel?” She turned around and saw the disappointed woman from the meeting walking over to her with her arms out for a hug. She looked like she was in a better mood. Actually, she looked like someone’s hot second wife, dressed in a red jumpsuit and very large red feather hat.

 

“Very exciting day! You get to really schmooze it up with the people who are helping fund your upcoming tour! How are you feeling?” Trixie gives her a quick hug and when she pulled away, the woman was smiling so delightfully, it kinds scared Trixie.

 

“Umm, who are you exactly?” Trixie cocks her head at the woman in front of her.

 

“Ha Ha. Wait, are you already drunk because I may be your friend and a very supportive one at that but as your publicist, I’ll kick your ass.” The woman grabbed Trixie by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

 

“What do I always say?” The woman asks Trixie and she just shrugs.

 

The woman huffed, and crossed her arms giving off a fake mad attitude “Dela don’t rep no fool! SO, please for the love god, don’t act like a fool.” She tapped her on the nose with her pointer finger.

 

Dela went back into her delightful demeanor “Alright cutie pie, lets get you out there!” Dela grabbed Trixie and they walked out of the room.

 

As Trixie got to the main room, she saw the full scale of the party. This is what she was expecting. A DJ was set up at the back of the room, just to her right, playing music. There was a huge dance floor with pink and blue lights everywhere. It's like the prom she doesn't remember having. A man holding out a tray of drinks comes up to her and she grabbed one. She took a sip, it was so good. Familiar but there was something different.

“Oh wow that’s so good! What is it?” She asked Dela.

 

“Vodka lemonade. Lets keep it moving. Look, it’s Jinkx! Let go ask her how it’s going.” Trixie downed the drink and took another from the tray before Dela grabbed her hand and pulled her through a crowd toward and redheaded woman wearing a floor-length emerald green silk caftan.

 

“Hey guys! So we have a bit of a dilemma. Honestly it’s so small.”  Jinkx's face looked positive but her tone seemed a bit nervous.

 

“Just tell us Jinkx, you’re the one producing this tour. Are we getting more funding or what?” Dela is getting antsy with Jinkx’s tone of voice.

 

“Well actually, it looks like everyone is just kind of bored.” She lets out an uncomfortable giggle. “Now, I’m more than willing to go out there and give them a show but I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate it.” They both turn and look at Trixie, hoping she got the hint.

 

“Well, everyone is here for me, right?” Trixie finally speaks up, probably a bit tipsy from her fast paced drinking.

 

“Well let’s give them a reason to dance!” She hands Jinkx her newly emptied glass. "Thats our girl! Put on a show Trix!" Jinkx yelled out to her.

 

Trixie walked over to the DJ. She panicked the whole walk over when she realized she doesn’t actually know any of her own songs. She makes another mental note to listen to her own music ASAP. Also, ask Kim how to listen to current music without a CD player.

 

In the meantime, she needs to do something to get the guest moving, so she improvised.

 

Trixie leans over and whispers into the DJ’s ear, telling her to play the only song she knows she can perform and make it entertaining. She grabs a mic and stands in the middle of the dance floor. The first few notes of Waterloo by ABBA starts playing. A bit nervous at first, Trixie start to sing along to the melody.

 

**_My my_ **  
**_At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender_ **

**_Oh yeah_ **

**_And I have met my destiny in quite a similar way_ **

This was her first time singing in front of strangers, even though she knows 30-year-old Trixie is an actual famous musician, currently preparing for a tour, this was new for her. There was a spotlight on her, shining in her eyes, and she had everyone's attention. This was her Kelly Clarkson moment.

  
_**The history book on the shelf** _  
_**Is always repeating itself** _

 

As the course hit, Trixie spots Katya walk in. Relief washes over her. She feels less alone knowing she has someone there she could focus on. Even better, she had the only other person who could perform this song with her.

 

“Oh my god! Katya, come here!” she says pulling the mic away from her mouth. She ran over to her and pulls her to the dance floor with her. Katya was so caught off guard. She didn't even want to come but figured she should at least show some support since she hasn't been able to in the past. She looked over at Trixie being carless and living her dream,  belting out the lyrics to ABBA she knew so well.

 

**_Waterloo I was defeated, you won the war_ **  
**Waterloo promise to love you for ever more**  
**Waterloo couldn't escape if I wanted to**  
**Waterloo knowing my fate is to be with you**  
**Waterloo finally facing my Waterloo**

 

Katya finally joined in and together they start doing the choreography Trixie spent hours and days making Katya learn down in her basement. She knew this moment is exactly what Trixie visioned when she made her practice this dance until it was perfect. Turning their backs to each other just to jump spin back around, perfectly in sync, singing at each other. Trixie felt like she was 13 and could tell Katya was feeling the same.

 

**_My my_ **  
**_I tried to hold you back, but you were stronger_ **  
**_Oh yeah_ **  
**_And now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight_ **  
**_And how could I ever refuse_ **  
**_I feel like I win when I lose_ **

 

Trixie continues to serenade the crowd with the ABBA lyrics while kicking her legs and pointing along with Katya. She doesn't even care if anyone else is enjoying themselves anymore because she and Katya were having a blast. Everyone starts clapping and cheering. Their energy was so infectious. Everything in that moment felt perfect to Trixie. This is truly her happy song.

 

_**Waterloo I was defeated, you won the war** _  
_**Waterloo promise to love you for ever more** _  
_**Waterloo couldn't escape if I wanted to** _  
_**Waterloo knowing my fate is to be with you** _  
_**Oh, oh Waterloo finally facing my Waterloo** _

 

Trixie and Katya were sincerely dancing like they were the only ones in the room. They didn’t notice that Dela and Jinx joined in a bit ago, doing their own moves. Dancing like two mom's chaperoning a middle school dance. Slowly the whole room is dancing and singing along. It feels like a full out party now.

__

_**Waterloo I was defeated, you won the war** _  
_**Waterloo promise to love you for ever more** _  
_**Waterloo couldn't escape if I wanted to** _  
_**Waterloo knowing my fate is to be with you** _  
_**Oh, oh Waterloo finally facing my Waterloo** _

 

When Trixie finishes the song the crowd erupts in cheers as she takes a bow. She pulls Katya into a hug. Katya gives her a quick squeeze back but then turns walked away without saying a word. Trixie runs after her and grabs her arm to stop her.

 

“Katya wait, where are you going? The party is just staring. We're having so much fun” Trixie is trying to yell over the cheering, the crowd is oblivious to her change in mood.

 

“I’m sorry Trixie, I thought I could – I just can’t be here. Not now.” Trixie released her arm and then she walks away. Before she could follow Katya out to see if she could talk to her about it, Dela is pulling her arm and walking her back to the DJ booth, Jinxk is bouncing on her toes behind them.

 

“Make a speech. Charm them!” Both Jinkx and Dela tell her as they stand on either side of her. Even they don't see the change in Trixie's spirit.

 

Trixie plasters on the best smile she could and tries to give a speech.

 

“Hey everyone! Thanks for coming out and I supporting me! I’m really living my dream. Thank you all for making it happen. Let’s party!” The crowd goes crazy, erupting in cheers, but all Trixie could think about is that Katya is gone.

* * *

Farrah and Trixie are sitting in a secluded part of a bar called Mickey's. Farrah spent the whole car ride over telling Trixie about her friend Morgan McMichaels, who is a drag queen, and that she performing tonight. Trixie has never seen a drag queen, accept that time RuPaul was on Sabrina.

"She probably won't even see us back here but I don't want too many of your fans to catch on to the fact that you're here." Farrah turned to the bartender and ordered them both a drink.

"So, you and mystery blonde from your party were trending on Twitter today. Reddit is going crazy, saying you're cheating on Adore." Farrah said to Trixie as she took an sip of her drink, giving her an accusatory look.

"I don't know what that means but Dela has been calling me all day about it. It's just Katya, I don't know that the big deal is!" The aftermath of the party has been stressing Trixie out all day. She didn't know she had to prescreen all her friends through Dela before inviting them to her own party.

 

"What, did you say Katya? Like from our childhood? Your old weirdo friend, Katya? I didn't know you still spoke to her." Farrah was staring at Trixie in disbelief. 

 

"Yeah. Katya Zamolodchikova! Eh, I don't think we have the best past but recently we've been talking and hanging out." Trixie answered with such ease, like the whole situation shouldn't be weird to anyone else because it wasn't to her. "Okay, well, I'll just let you and Dela figure that one out." Farrah can't be bothered with anymore of the story. 

 

They sat there in an uncomfortable silence before Farrah spoke again. “So have you even finished up the last few songs on your album?” Farrah wanted to change topics before Trixie could add to it.

 

“My songs, right ummm is that due soon?” She took and drink and was mindlessly played with the straw.

 

“Well, your producer, Michelle Visage, won’t be happy if it isn’t done before the album release at the end of the month.” Some how Trixie has not thought about the fact that if she's suppose to be getting ready for a tour, that meant that she should have music for it. Trixie choked on her drink, “That’s in two weeks! I can’t write a song in two weeks!”

  
“Yeah girl, we know, but Alaska can. She and her team did the other tracks so of course she's gonna help you finish.” Farrah, unfazed by Trixie's sporadic behavior just waives off her confusion. Trixie, however, was bother by the thought of asking someone to write her songs for her. 

 

“I don’t even write my own songs?” Trixie never imagined taking credit for a song that wasn’t hers. Farrah gives her a worried look, thinking Trixie might be drunk.“Maybe we should get going and you can call her tomorrow and see what she has.” Farrah grabbed Trixie’s drink and set it down. She latched onto Trixie's elbow and the two of them made their way outside.

 

Trixie stood outside the bar as Farrah smoked a cigarette, bouncing on the balls of her feet trying to warm up in the brisk night air.

 

“Stand still Trixie, you’re stressing me out.” Farrah was staring off into the distance. “Are you going to puke?”

 

“No, gross! I’m just a little worried about the album. I’m gonna ask Alaska if I can at least help write the rest.” Farrah didn’t even reply she just gave her a look of uncertainty and Trixie knew she should just end that conversation. Luckily, she hears her name being yelled from just down the street.

 

“Trixie! Babe! Bring da ass over here!” The girl from her house is now just a few building down calling to her. Her eyes, widen, a bit worried about her safety. She turned to Farrah and yell whispered “Oh my god, it’s the naked punk girl from my house. Did she call me babe?”

 

“Adore? I would think so, she’s your girlfriend. Music’s most surprising IT couple. At least she doesn't seem mad about the Katya thing. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't know." Farrah waved Adore over to them. Adore held up a finger and turned to an excited looking girl clutching her phone, waiting to get photo with her.

 

“Trixie, hey!” Trixie turned around and saw Katya walking up the street right toward them.

 

“Oh hey Katya!” Trixie ran up to meet her and gave her a quick hug.

 

“Oh wow, Katya Zamo-whatever, we were just talking about you. You look...great. Did you cut your bangs yourself?” Farrah stayed in her spot, smoking her cigarette, not showing much interest in Katya.

 

“Farrah, Hello! Hardly recognized you with your new nose!” Farrah quickly touched her hand to her nose before she rolled her eyes and turned back around to finish her cigarette.

 

“So what are you doing over here?” Trixie was very excited to run into Katya. She thought maybe she could ditch Farrah and she could have a girls night with Katya like old times so they could talk about that happened the other night.

 

“Oh I’m actually shopping with my – ,“ Before she could finish, a tall, tiny waisted, pin up looking woman strutted over to them and linked her arm with Katya’s “Trixie, this is Violet, my fiancée.” That news hit Trixie like a ton of bricks. 

 

“Oh wow um Hi! I’m Trixie. I’m an old friend of Katya’s.” Trixie tried to not act shocked.

 

“Yes, of course I know who you are. I saw that little dance you two did the other night at your party. Very cute. It's wonderful to meet you.” Violet is giving off such a blasé vibe.

 

“So are you a photographer also or how did you two meet?” Trixie was truly confused. Violet didn't look like someone Katya would go for. Not that she really knows this Katya, but still, it seem a bit off to Trixie.

 

“Wow Katya, you really know how to talk me up don’t cha sweets.” Violet playfully slaps Katya’s shoulder. “I’m a model. We met when she came to shoot photos of me for a magazine. It was love at first sight.” Violet leaned her head on Katya’s shoulder briefly. “Most of my work is in runway jobs in New York so I live there. In fact, K and I were just talking about her finally moving over there with me.”

 

“You’re moving to New York?” Trixie looked as heartbroken as she felt, mostly upset that Katya was leaving after they just got reunited.

 

“Well we um, well – I just – we just started talking about…Is that Adore Delano?” speaking mostly under her breath, Katya was trying to avoid talking about the move and lucky for her, Adore just ran over.

 

“Sorry about that, you know the little ones love to cry at me.” She stood next to Trixie, talking only to her but quickly noticed the other people standing there “Hey, sup! Oh wait are you're that girl who did that cute little dance with Trixie?”

 

“Oh right!” Trixie realizes that she the only one connecting these people. “This is my friend Katya and her friend Violet. Yeah we danced to ABBA at my party.” Violet sticks her hand out for Adore to shake.

 

“I’m Katya’s fiancée. Nice to meet you.” She smiled sickeningly sweet at her.

 

“Party!” Adore just similes at the the two of them.

 

“Yes and this is umm” Trixie pointed at Adore, trying to introduce her but realized she already forgot her name.

 

“Adore Delano, Yes its nice to meet you! I’m a big fan of your music.” Katya take the lead to avoid making Trixie feel awkward. “Whatever is a pretty underrated album, I think.”

 

“Thanks man! You’re really cool for saying that. Love your vibe!” Adore leaned in and gave Katya a pretty uncomfortable hug. They all stood there in a painfully long silence, avoiding eye contact.

 

“Okay well, we better get doing. It was nice seeing you guys.” Katya says, grabbing Violet’s hand and walking away leaving Trixie, Adore and Farrah alone. 

 

Adore turned to Farrah and yelled over at her. “Farrah, I’m going to steal Trixie from you for the night before the cute gay babies come out of Mickey's and see us.”

 

“She’s all yours! I’m going head back in and see if I can still catch the end of Morgan's number. I've got big tips for that bitch.” Farrah stubbed her cigarette out and was headed for the door when she heard Trixie yell "Wait!" 

 

Trixie ran over to Farrah and started talking to her in hushed tones “Do you think she’s gonna...you know” Trixie started to mime groping Farrah’s boobs.

 

She gigged at Trixie’s childishness and said “I sure hope so! Go on, have fun!!” she turned Trixie back toward Adore, gave her butt a little smack and waved them off.

* * *

 

 

Back at Trixie’s house, she nervously fiddles with her old record player, trying to play music in hopes that it will distract Adore. Instead, Adore came up behind her and snaked her arms around her waist.

 

Trixie worms her way out of the embrace and plops herself down on the couch. “So, do you maybe just want to watch something?” She picks up the remote and Adore joins her and grabs it out of her hand.

 

“Oh like Netflix and chill? I’m down!” She leans over and tries to kiss Trixie’s neck. However, every time she leans in, Trixie giggles uncontrollably.

 

“Sorry Adore, I guess I’m just in a weird mood.”

 

“It’s cool. I dig consent so if you’re not feelin it, we can literally just watch a movie.”

 

Trixie was so relieved with the change in mood so she tries to figure out a movie that will keep the mood light and fun.

 

Trixie excitedly hoped up and walked over to a shelf of movies she had in the living room. She quickly scanned the selection and grabbed a DVD and turned around to face Adore. “Have you ever seen Clueless?”

 

She walked back to the couch and Adore grabbed it from her and laughed. “Wow way to age yourself, grandma.” She got up and walked over to Trixie's TV to put the movie into the PS4 “Of course I’ve seen Clueless. Brittany Murphy was fucking cool. I was so sad when she died."

 

"Brittany Murphy is dead!" Trixie yelled, truly caught off guard by this news. As much as she loved Cher, in her heart of hearts, she knew she was more like Tai.

 

"Yeah Trix, she died in like 2009. I know it's sad but damn. How about you go grab popcorn and blankets and I'll get this set up" Adore turned back to the TV.

 

Trixie went to find the popcorn. She popped the bag in the microwave and set off to grab come blankets. By the time she got back to the living room, Adore had the lights shut off and was sitting on the couch waiting for Trixie. This felt like the girls night she'd been craving. Sure it wasn't with the person she'd like it to be but maybe she can just be Adore’s friends. She seemed like a fun and cool person.

 

Trixie decided not to address it tonight or even think about it. She was just going to focus on enjoying her favorite movie.

 


	4. I'm Sorry, I Have to Go.

The next morning Trixie felt a lot more at ease with her new-ish life. She laid in bed with her laptop propped up on a pillow in her lap. She texted Kim asking how to Google herself to which, first, she laughed at her, then that told her to just open her laptop, open the internet, type in Google.com on the top bar and type in her name. Kim sent the message with a moving picture of Judge Jude rolling her eyes. It amazed Trixie and she noted to follow up with Kim to see how to do that.

 

So she looked up her name and right there, under several photos of herself, she found a brief about.

_**“Trixie Mattel is an American singer and songwriter. She won several country music awards since her start in 2014. Her first studio album, Ages 3 and Up, was released in 2015. She is currently working on her second album, set to release at the end of May 2019**_ **. _”_**

“That’s a lot. Wow, I guess I’m kind of successful! Well, not my own music but at least my voice.” Trixie think out loud as she scrolls back up to look through some of the pictures of her. The first one links to her Instagram. From there, she looked through photos she apparently posted of herself to this website.

 

There are countless photos of her backstage, on stage, on some red carpets, people wearing shirts with her name and face on them, drawings of her, pictures with Dela, picture with Adore, and picture with people she doesn’t even know. And Barbies! So many vintage Barbies which, she has to admit, is what she’s most proud of 30-year-old her for.

 

She came across a video with the caption that read “Break Your Heart live!” The video was of her on a stage, singing a song that she assumed is called “Break Your Heart”. She’s really good. Like, if it wasn’t her singing it, she’s be a fan.

 

This is quite the life she built for herself. Seeing all her success makes her feel nostalgic for the journey. She doesn’t know the struggles she faced, the heartache, the joy or support she had on her way to the top.

 

She feels disheartened to know that, although they are supportive, she didn’t allow her mom or sister to share the ride with her. In all the photos she saw, she didn’t see a single one with family.

 

Then there was Katya. She was always so supportive of her dreams when they were younger and to know that this version of her kicked Katya out of her life, for what? Temporary high school popularity? It made her feel so heartbroken.

 

However, today, she’s a new Trixie. This Trixie is mending whatever old Trixie broke between her and Katya. This Trixie was going to call her mom when she’s back from vacation.

 

She closed her computer and stretched out on her bed. Laying there she started humming a little melody that came to her mind. She popped up remembering he had meeting with Alaska today and she didn’t want to be late.

 

She got up and walked into her closet. It was bigger and better than anything she ever dreamt of. She grabbed a white t-shirt that said “Friend of Dolly” and tucked it into a pink denim skirt and threw on a matching pink denim jacket. She tried to replicate the thick black eyeliner Raven put on her the other night and felt fairly successful. And because it seemed her brand was being a little over the top with looks, she popped blue glitter on her eyes.

 

Checking herself out in the mirror, she was really impress with what she looked like. She would describe her look as a Muppet dressed like Retro Barbie. She’ll have to ask Kim to take a photo of her later so she can post it on Instagram.

 

She checked the time on her phone and realized it getting close to her meeting time and she should head over to the office. With new found confidence, called her own Uber and made it to her office without any assistance.

 

She walked in the front door and greeted Kim at the front desk who smiled and handed her a ring pop that she immediately slipped onto her pinky.

 

“Hey Trixie, Adore keeps calling. She wants know if you want to do dinner later.”

 

“Can you tell her no and that I don’t want to date her but she’s great and I really hope we could still be friends.”

 

“Having me break up with your girlfriend, bold. I love it.” Kim frantically write down a note ‘Break up with Adore :)”

 

“Kimberley, Can you meet with me after this meeting with Alaska? I have more questions I hope you can help me with.” Trixie tries to sound very professional.

 

“Sure Trixie but just so you know, serving as you personal Google assistant and resident millennial is not in my pay grade and will cost extra” Kim giggled at her joke and wrote ‘Meet with Trixie” on a sticky note and stuck it on her computer.

 

“Absolutely! We’ll talk numbers later” Trixie answered completely serious. She didn’t know if or how she could do it but if that’s what Kim wants, she’ll figure it out. Kim has been so helpful and more of a friend to her than Farrah.

 

Trixie turned away from a stunned Kim and continued on into the conference room where she knew this Alaska woman was suppose to be waiting for her. When she walked in, she saw two girls bickering with each other while the third just sat there laughing and shaking her head. No one in the room registered that Trixie had entered.

 

“Oh. Okay you Aussie bitch. Please tell me what you think is so special about a song called Ugly if you have Little Miss Muffet sing it.” The woman talking was leaning back in her chair looking at the tips of her hair. She looked so unbothered despite her pointed tone. Trixie was instantly drawn to her hair. It was big beachy waves of big dirty blonde hair that had strips of faded pink, blue and green dispersed throughout.

 

A tiny woman with a blonde with a ponytail of beautiful curls was leaned forward, hands on the table, clearly angry with the other woman, “Willam, the song is a metaphor! It has a deeper meaning!” Willam just moved her attention to her nails, never making eye contact.

 

Just then, the last woman, uninvolved in the argument, stood up. She was the tallest woman Trixie had ever seen and the two crazy blonde buns on the top of her head seem to stretch her out even more. “Trixieeeee!” Her voice was deep and drawn out. “Thank god you’re here to save me from these children” The woman ran over to Trixie, long arms held out like a child.

 

The other two are temporally broken out of their fight and turned their attention to the Trixie. “Hey Trix! Courtney thinks she has a song for you but tell her it’s dumb and let me record her face while you do it” Willam hops up from her seat and walks over to Trixie with her phone out.

 

“Hi Alaska, Willam, and Courtney. I’m happy that you want to help me. Let sit!” The four of them sat around the table. Trixie wasn’t expecting anyone more than Alaska so she felt a bit more intimated now than she was just a few moments ago.

 

“Sooo Miss Trixie, as you know its crunch time and the gals and I really want to make sure you finish this album on time. I know we all have some selections for you but of course the final decision is yours to make.” Alaska opened up her laptop sitting in front of her and started clicking around. The other 2 joined her and Trixie looked down at her notebook and pen wondering if she too should have brought her computer.

 

“I’m really glad you said that Alaska. I’m really grateful for you, all of you, but I think I want to write the last songs myself.” Trixie looked down at her ring pop and twisted its around her finger.”

 

“Oh sweetie honey baby. No no. We wrote everything else, that just doesn’t make sense.” Willam leaned forward and stared in disbelief at Trixie.

 

“You know I hate saying this, like it truly pains me, but Willam is right. You haven’t even picked a single yet and one of these could be it. The album has to be cohesive. You can’t just pop a wildcard in.” Alaska placed her hand on Trixie’s and tried to reason with her.

 

“I don’t know guys, I think it would be awesome!” Courtney added, shutting her computer and looking over at them.

 

“I think this could be fun. It’ll show my fans a new side of me. I’m in such a different headspace now. I think this could be a good thing.”

 

The three of them just look at Trixie, thinking she’ll say she’s joking at some point. Courtney is the only one that looked excited for Trixie.

 

“You can help. I don’t want to fire you. I just want to make music that’s mine.”

 

“Gag, I’m outta her. Let me know when you change your mind. Come on Courtney, I want a pretzel.” Willam grabs Courtney's elbow and pulls her toward the door.

 

She gave Trixie and small smile as she passed her.

 

“Listen, how about you write a song and I’ll work on one and well meet back in a few days and see how you feel about it. Michelle is waiting for me to call her with an update so I’ll keep this between us for now.” Alaska gave her shoulder a squeeze and left the room.

 

Trixie sat there for about 10 minutes, processing what just happened, before she got up and walked toward her office. As she walked past the front, Kim waved her down and jogged to catch up with her. The meeting really threw her off and she forgot she told Kim to meet her after.

 

“Can I just vent to you for a minute because that did not go well from me.” Trixie continued toward her office, not even checking to see if Kim was actually behind her.

 

When they got in the office, Trixie plopped down in her chair and laid her head on her desk.

 

“Let me guess, the AAA Girls were fighting the whole time and nothing got done because Willam.” Kim laid back on the couch.

 

Trixie lifted her head so she could see Kim. “No. Well yes they fought a little and Willam is stubborn but that’s not my problem. I want to write the rest of the album and they think I’m some kind of joke. And maybe I am but I won’t know if I don’t at least try!”

 

“Whoa there, slow down. If want to write your own music, then write it. You’re the boss here.” Kim sat up.

 

“Alaska said that I can but it would be a bad idea. Like she’s not even going to tell my producer Michelle that I want to write.”

 

“But she did tell Michelle. On the phone. I heard her in the lobby make a phone call and say like Trixie wants to make her own music. We’ll have Farrah keep her busy and she already handled it. Obviously I didn’t know what she meant, I was just listening because I like being noisy but yeah.”

 

“She said all this in front of you?” Trixie asked. She got up and walked over Kim and sat on the couch next to her.

 

“Well before a few weeks ago, you never even looked at me. She probably didn’t realize we’re basically friends now.”

 

“Am I your friend?” Trixie looked as Kim with admiration.

 

“At this point you text me more than my girlfriend does so I’d say yeah, we’re friends”

 

“And before we became friends, was I mean to you?” Trixie wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.

 

“Um, Not mean. More like, I never even registered in your mind as a person of interest.” Kim seemed unbothered but that hit Trixie harder than if she were just mean.

 

Maybe that is why she felt so friendless and alone. This other version of Trixie wasn’t just mean; she was so self-centered and fame hungry that other people simply didn’t matter.

 

“I’m so sorry, I have to go.” Trixie got up and ran straight for the the door, leaving Kim alone.

 

“Cool, we’ll just pick this back up later them.” She said to herself.

* * *

Trixie kept running and didn’t stop until she was home. For the first time, she felt fully alone. Farrah was working with Alaska, against her. She wanted to be Kim’s friend but didn’t feel like she deserved Kim’s friendship. Who knows if Adore wanted to be her friend. She doesn’t know if Dela or Jinkx are only her friend because they work for her.

 

Sitting on her couch in this big empty house, her dream life is crumbling around her.

 

There’s only one person she can trust anymore, Katya.

* * *

 

Trixie made her way over to Katya’s apartment. She paced in front of the door before stopping, straighten herself up and knocking one the door before she lost her nerves.

 

Katya answers, “You’re not the stripper I ordered, unless you are.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

 

“Ugh, shut up. Do you want to go on a walk?”

 

“Let me grab my shoes.”

 

They start walking down a street of the residential neighborhood near Katya, not speaking.

 

“SO um, I still can’t believe you’re getting married.” Trixie finally brakes the ice.

 

“Yup. Just 2 more weeks actually.” More silence.

 

“Is she your soul mate?” Trixie genuinely wanted to know. In her mind, Katya is her best friend yet she knows so little about her life. 

 

 “My soul mate?” Katya let out a quick laugh, “I don't really believe in those.”

 

“But don’t you get like, goose bumps when you're around her. Like doesn’t she feel like the most special person in your world?” They are both avoiding eye contact, focusing on the ground in front of them.

 

 “Not really. Sure, I love her and what we have is great but I haven't really felt that way about a girl since high school.” Katya fiddles with the pack of cigarettes in her pocket.

 

The admittance made Trixie stops walking and it makes Katya stop as well.

 

“Katya, What…What happened to us? Like why did we stop being friends?”

 

“God I don't know. I forgot. It was so many years ago.” Katya finally pulled out her cigarettes, took one from the pack and lit it. 

 

 “No, Kat, come on. What happened?” They start walking again.

 

 “I don't know. I guess it was your 13th birthday party, when you were playing that game in the closet.”

 

“Seven Minutes in Heaven. Everybody ditched and that is the last thing I remember.”

 

“Well you came out of the closet...not like in a gay way, not yet at least, and I started to play this recoding of a song I made for you. I recorded you singing and and packaged it all up for you and wanted to give it to you so you had something to start your career with.” Katya took a drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke up so it wouldn’t get in Trixie’s face.

 

“But you were really mad about what happened at the party, with everyone leaving, and I was the only one there left to blame. Then with quite impressive force, you threw the dream house at me. “

 

Trixie grabbed Katya’s arm making her stop walking so she could look at her face. Katya took one last drag of her cigarette before putting it out.

 

“After that you just stopped being my friend and you never spoke to me again. Then you got famous and I went through my own thing and we never reconnected until now.”

 

Trixie took a minute to take in the story, “I'm so sorry, Kat.”

 

“It’s fine, really. Forget it, Tix. It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter. We were kids.”

 

“Katya, stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it. I’m such a bad person.” The full events of the day come crashing down on Trixie and this new information about herself was the last straw.

 

“I don't have any real friends. I made my secretary brake up with my girlfriend. I don't talk to my mom or sister. I'm not a nice person. And the thing is, I’m not 13 anymore, it’s not okay.”

 

Trixie just needed to get away, to make sense of her life. She walks away from Katya, leaving her on the street alone.

* * *

 After her talk with Katya, Trixie went home, grabbed a bag and threw a few things into it. She had an Uber take her to the airport and before she knew it, she was on the first flight out to San Francisco.

 

She ignored the constant buzzing of her phone, mostly because she didn’t know how to turn it off. She was sure her team was going crazy trying to track her down. She knows she saw people snapping pictures of her at the airport but she really didn’t care. She just needed be here, at her mom’s house, even if she didn’t know why.

 

No one seemed to be home. Luckily, her mom kept the spare key in the same spot after all these years. Trixie didn’t think to look around or call out to see if anyone was there, she just headed straight downstairs to the basement.

 

As soon as she got to the the bottom step, a rush of nostalgia hit her. Everything looked exactly as it did the day of her party. The purple shag carpet, the floral wall paper and cream closet door. She opened the door not sure what she was expecting to see. The closet shelves were packed with old camping gear and books but her Dream House wasn’t there.

 

Trixie switched on the light, closed the door behind her and sunk down to the floor, tears in her eyes. This is her life now. Even going back to the exact spot everything changed, didn’t make her current situation better or give her any kind of insight. She got up and walked back upstairs, crying. She just wanted her mom.

 

Like magic, her mom came home. She places her bags down by the door and followed the sound coming from the living room, grabbing an umbrella just incase. When she rounded the couch she jumped, surprised to see Trixie laying there.

 

“Mom?” Trixie jumped up from the couch and wrapped her mom up in a hug.

 

“Oh bee, are you alright?” Trixie didn’t reply, she just stood there hugging her mom. 

* * *

Once Trixie’s mom got her calmed down, she made her the one thing she knows always cheers Trixie up, blueberry pancakes. Trixie feels like she’s actually 13 again, finally.

 

Trixie hasn’t told her mom what’s going on in her life right now because she doesn’t know where to start or how to not sound crazy. Thankfully her mom was doing all the talking.

 

“Jamie is actually graduating from Stanford soon. She’s thinking about moving to LA actually to try and find a marketing job. She’s really proud of you Trix, definitely your number two fan.” She said with a wink, making it clear that she’s number one.

 

“I should really give her a call. Maybe she could stay with me or even work for me until she finds something better.” Trixie said to her mom as she joined her at the table.

 

“That so sweet of you Bee. I think she’ll like that.” Her mom gave Trixie’s hand a gentle squeeze before returning to her pancakes.

 

The two of them ate in silence for a bit before Trixie put her fork down on her plate, the soft clatter catching her mom’s attention, “Mom, do you ever feel like you missed out on anything? Like if you could have one do-over, what would it be?”

 

She thought about the question for a second before replying, “I won’t change a thing.”

 

“Okay, but like, what if you really messed something up and you felt like it changed the course of your life?”

 

“Well sure, there are moments in my life that when looking back, could have taken be down another path but no, I don’t regret anything because if I didn’t make mistakes, I wouldn't know how to fix them.” Trixie smiled and they returned to their silence.

 

“Did you know Katya Zamo is getting married? Like in 2 weeks.” Trixie put her fork down again and gave her mom her full attention.

 

“Well yeah honey, Jamie and I are going. I’m sure Katya would have invited you but you’re so busy with your music…” Her mom trailed off. She knows that they both know that’s not the reason she wasn’t invited.

 

“Yeah, well actually she and I have been talking more recently so maybe I’ll be there.”

 

“Oh that’s wonderful. How sweet to hear that you two are speaking again!  You know I love Katya and I’m just so happy that you were able to link back up down there in LA” Her mom seemed genuinely happy to hear this update. Katya was like a daughter to her when they were growing up and she knows it must have pained her mom to have to watch Katya continue her life separate from Trixie’s.

 

“You know, when the both of you finally came out to Pat and I, we were certain the two of you would end up together until we noticed that the two of you grew apart in high school.” She mom was so nonchalant about her statement. She stood up and gabbed her and Trixie’s plates and brought them to the sink.

 

“Mom, I’m sorry I missed Christmas.” Trixie didn’t know what else she could say to her mom to apologize for her past actions but this was a start.

 

Trixie’s mom turned back around just smiled back at her.


	5. Are You a Princess?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a short chapter and there is no Katya but I promise it's still good!

Trixie knew she had to get back to her life. She can run all she wants, but it’ll catch up with her eventually. After a nice long day of catching up with her mom, watching some old episodes of Golden Girls together and even facetiming her little sister, she booked a flight back to LA.

 

Trixie had her mom drive her to the airport, wanting to drag out her departure as much as possible. As they pulled up to the drop-off zone, Trixie turned to her mom, reaching over the center console to give her a hug. When she pulled away, she could feel the tears burring her eyes.

 

“Oh Bee. Honey, why are you crying?” Her mom asked, wiping away a tear that escaped.

 

“I just don’t want to mess it up this time.” She gave her mom a sad smile.

 

“Well, if you don’t feel like things are working, remember that you’re never gonna lose everything. Go back to the start and try again. Make sure you’re using all your moving parts, Dolly. You were made for this. I know, I assembled you myself.” She gave Trixie a wink. “Now get going. I don’t want you to miss your flight!”

 

“I love you mom. I promise I’ll call you more.” She gave her mom one more hug before climbing out of the car and walking into the airport.

 

Trixie got through security in a breeze, grabbed a drink at Starbucks that was a glorified milkshake and found her gate. As she sat waiting for her flight to board, she retuned Dela’s calls to try and assess the damage.

 

“Beatrix Elizabeth Mattel, you better have a damn good reason why you went to San Francisco without so much as CCing me on a flight confirmation and then proceed to ignore every call and text over the last 24 hours.” Dela sounded like a very “I’m not mad, just disappointed” angry mom and it scared Trixie just a bit.

 

“Honestly, I just needed a minute. The album is stressing me out and I just needed my mom.” Trixie wanted to be upfront with Dela.

 

“Well babes, can you at least let me know next time? You scared me half way to death. When are you coming back?” Trixie let out a sigh knowing Dela wasn’t going to kill her when she landed.

 

“I’m at the airport now. I promise, this won’t happen again. I really am sorry.”

 

“I know kid. Fly safe and let me know when you’ve made it back. Bye Trix.” Dela was gone and Trixie felt a bit more at ease.

 

Trixie remembered that she left Kim mid meeting and then went MIA, leaving Kim to try and field any calls over the last 24 hours she thought she should sent her a text.

 

 **_Trixie:_** _Hey Kim! Sorry about the last 24 hours. Can you pick me up from LAX in a few hours? I’ll buy you donuts!_

 

 **Kim Chi:** _Ugh Tracy, I really deserve that raise now…_

 **Kim Chi** : _Of course I will pick you up…if we can go to California Donuts!_

 **Kim Chi:** _Also you have to tell me what the heck happened!!!_

 

 **Trixie:** _Thank you!!! I land at 1:27pm see you then!!_

 

There's only one person she knows would be expecting a call back and that is Farrah. Trixie decided to continue to ignore her, hoping to cross that bridge when she got there.

 

“Excuse me” Trixie was so engrossed in reading her texts, she didn’t hear the small voice calling to her. “Excuse me” The voice got a little louder and a small finger poked at Trixie’s leg. She looked up from her phone to see if she could find the source. Right in front of Trixie stood a tiny little girl with adorable little lose blonde ringlet curls framing her face. She’s wearing pink leggings and a black zip up sweater, holding a stuffed Minnie Mouse.

 

“Hi cutie, are you lost?” Trixie put her phone down giving the little girl her full attention.

 

“Nope. My mommy and daddy are over there.” She pointed back over Trixie’s shoulder, she looked back and saw a couple looking at one phone, stressed look on their faces. She looked back at the girl trying to figure out what she wanted.

 

“Are you a princess?” The little girl asked Trixie before she could suggest the little girl return to her parents. Trixie’s long, curly blonde hair was down and she was wearing a pink dress with no shape and cowboy boots, not really princess material. “Cause you look like a princess who maybe rides horseies.”

 

“No. I’m not a princess. But I love the color pink so much and I love to wear pretty dresses so maybe that’s why I look like one.” Trixie wasn’t really a kid person but she thought being honest was probably her best bet here. The little girl climbed into the seat next to Trixie. She glanced back at the girl’s parents and they were still looked down at the phone, showing no interest in where their daughter might be so Trixie decided to give her her undivided attention.

 

“That’s okay. You’re really pretty though because you look like me but bigger” The little girl was kicking her legs back and forth as they hung off the chair. “Is your name Molly too?” She looked up at Trixie with wide eyes, thinking she may be looking right at her future self.

“Nope, my name is Trixie. How old are you Molly?” All small kids looked like babies to her. This little girl could be 2 or 9 and Trixie would never know the difference. To her, she was just small.

 

“I’m ummm, four but I’ll be five very soon! My birthday is ummm, May….13! That’s why I’m going to Disneyland!”

 

“Oh wow, that’s a very cool place to celebrate your birthday! Can I tell you a secret?” Trixie bent over the chair’s arm to get closer to Molly’s ear. “I’ve never been to Disneyland.”

 

The little girl smacked her hand over her mouth. “Oh my gosh me toooo! Do you want to come with me? We can meet all the princesses! We can be best friends!”

 

The offer was so sweet and genuine that Trixie didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry. “I’m sorry Molly but I can’t. I’m actually a singer and I have to make so much new music in the next 2 weeks so as much as I’d love to come meet all princesses with you, I have to do my job.”

 

She looked a little sad, it almost made Trixie want to call Dela and let her know she was going to extend her vacation to hit up Disneyland with and almost 5-year-old. The little girl looked back at Trixie with her eye squinted in curiosity, “Princesses sing Trixie, are you SURE you’re not a princess?” Trixie just replied with a sad shake of her head.

 

Just then, Molly’s mom finally came over looking for her daughter. Trixie was almost annoyed and wanted to yell at the woman for taking so long to realize her daughter wandered away. “Molly! Sweetie, you can’t just walk away from mommy and daddy. We didn’t know were you went.” Trixie fought from rolling her eyes.

 

“I’m so sorry ma’am, was she bothering you?” She looked over at Trixie.

 

“Oh no, not at all. I think we’re best friends now, actually. Molly was telling me all about how she’s going to Disneyland.” Trixie smiled kindly at the woman. Molly jumped up out of her chair and gave Trixie a hug. “Bye Bye Trixie! I hope you get to go to Disneyland soon!” Molly skipped away to her dad.

 

“Trixie? Like the singer Trixie Mattel?” Molly’s mom question, standing there, stunned.

 

“Oh yeah, I’m Trixie Mattel.” This is the first time Trixie experience someone recognizing her and she had to admit, it was kind of weird given the circumstances.

 

“Oh jeeze. Now I’m extra sorry Molly bothered you! She’s just very excited. Her dad and I have been working out butts off saving up for the trip for a very long time and we’re still trying to work some things out which is why we didn’t see her come over here.”

 

“It really wasn’t a bother at all. Molly is a great kid.” Trixie was glad she didn’t yell at this mom before hand. This mom and dad just wanted to give their kid a great birthday. She knows her mom worked extra hard being a single mom to give her and Jamie the world and it’s times like this that really humble her and help her remember where she is and why she’s doing it.

 

“Actually ma’am, could I send Molly a gift? Let me get your number and I’ll text you when I’m home so I can get your hotel information to send her something.”

 

“Oh no no you don’t have to do that” The mom looked shocked by Trixie’s offer.

 

“Please, I’d love to get my new best friend a birthday gift.” Trixie unlocked her phone and handed it to the woman who quickly typed the number in and handed it back.

 

**_“We would now like to offer boarding to our First Class, Gold and Elite Members”_ **

 

“That’s me! It was so nice meeting you!” Trixie stood and grabbed the bag by her feet.

 

“I’m Rose by the way” She stuck her hand out to shake, “Trixie, you are a wonderful person. Thank you so much. Would it ruin the moment to ask for a picture?”

 

“Not at all!” They snapped a selfie and exchanged their good-byes. Trixie gave Molly one last wave and boarded the plane.

* * *

 

When she landed, Kim was there waiting for her outside the airport. They rode in mostly silence aside from the small talk here and there and Kim passionately talking about some group named Loona. They stop for some apology donuts and continued on to the office. She got settled in at her desk and started looking through journals and scrapbook she collected from her mom’s house. They were full of picture of her and Katya as well as poems and songs she tried writing. Flipping through them she got a brilliant idea. If Farrah and Alaska and Michelle’s label wanted to turn against her, she was going to turn too. She will make her own album, from scratch, songs and all.

 

She spent the last few hours sitting at her desk, on the couch, on the floor just writing lyrics, humming melodies and sketching album art ideas. Her small staff just kept passed by her office, worried she’d gone crazy. Kim only popping in to give her Red Bulls and Cheeze-Its.

 

“Trixie, I got you another can.” Kim seemed to have an endless supply for Trixie. This is the most focused and productive she’s has ever been and it takes her a few seconds to realize Kim was standing at her desk.

 

“Thank you! Actually, I was wondering if I can have Adore’s number.” Kim looked confused at her request.

 

“Sure, but you have to call because I’m not doing your booty calling for you.” Kim was scrolling through her phone looking for the contact.

 

“God Kimberly this isn’t a booty call. I want to see if she can help me produce my album. I’m going to make it without Michelle or the AAA Girls.” Trixie stated it like it was just passing thought, like it was everyday she turned her own album out in 2 weeks. Kim went wide-eyed and started bouncing on her toes.

 

“Yes! I love this! Doing this solo is such a smart move! I might actually like your music now” She handed her phone to Trixie and sat on the couch.

 

The phone was already dialed and ringing when Trixie put it up to her ear, there was no turning back. “Kim! Hey girl! How’s it going?” Adore answered.

 

“Hi actually, this is Trixie. Please don’t hang up. I have really big favor to ask and I really need you to keep it a secret.”

 

“A secret! Party! What’s the favor?” Adore’s immediate willingness to help really shocked Trixie. She thought she’s have to really beg her to work with her.

 

“You’ll help me even though I broke up with you. No, even worse, I had Kim break up with you?” Trixie looked over at Kim to make sure Kim really did break up Adore. Kim just shrugged back at her.

 

“Yes, of course! I still think you’re a really cool person. We can totally be friends! I’m here to help with whatever dude, let do it!”

 

“Oh my god Adore thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me. I just really want to make music that is 100 percent me and Michelle’s label just won’t let me do that. I have to do this my way or not at all.” Trixie feels like this is a fresh start and she’s ready to get started.

 

“This is fucking cool Trix! This is exactly why I had to leave Michelle’s label. She wanted me to be someone I wasn’t. She wanted pop and glamor but that ain't it for me ma. I had to get out and live my 90s punk-rock life. I’ll help however I can.”

 

Trixie was so relived. She explained some of her ideas to Adore and they came up with a plan to get into her studio and get this album made.

 

As the day came to an end, Trixie stood up, stretched and gathered all her items into her bag. She had almost written enough songs for a full album but none of them felt like her single.

 

As she walked back to the front of the office, she stopped by the front desk to say good night to Kim. “I’m finally headed home and I think you should do the same.” Trixie made Kim jump a bit as she was too engrossed in some K-Pop video to notice Trixie join her. “Yeah, you’re right. My girlfriend Naomi is actually in town right now and will probably kill me if I don’t see her.”

 

“Oh, so I have a strange question. Can you help me send like, every Disney princess dress there is to a little girl’s hotel room?” Trixie asked nonchalantly, looking at her phone.

 

“I guess so. Should I ask why or…” Kim trailed off, truly confused by Trixie’s request. “It’s a long story but I met this little girl Molly and her mom in the airport and her birthday is on Monday so I want to send her a gift.” Trixie explained. “Here’s the address to the Airbnb they’re staying at. I want her to have a dress of each princess and I want a card sent over that says ‘Meet them all Molly. Happy Birthday, Love Princess Trixie.” Trixie texted Kim over the the info to Kim.

 

“Aw Trixie that really sweet. I’ll call the Disney Store in the morning.”

 

“Thank you! And thanks for all your help today. I was actually thinking about that raise you asked me for and-“ Kim cut Trixie off before she could finish her offer. “Trixie, no, it's okay. I honestly was just joking. I’m just happy to have a job that I don’t hate.”

 

“We’ll I was going to ask if you wanted to be my personal assistant and I’ll double your current pay. You’d be doing pretty much everything you’re doing now, you just won’t be sitting here greeting everyone.” Trixie pulled at the sleeve of her dress.

 

“Wait are you serious? You’d pay be double the money to not sit at this desk and just hang out with you all day?” Kim stood up from her chair and ran to the other side of the desk to join Trixie.  “Well yeah. You’d be taking Farrah’s job since I don’t really-“ That’s all Kim needed to hear, “I accept!” Kim pulled Trixie into a hug.

 

“Great, first order of business, take me home please!” Trixie grabbed her bag and smiled wide at her. “Let me close up and let T-Rex know she’s gotta open tomorrow and I’ll be ready to go!” Kim ran off toward the back of the office before Trixie could even question why there was a person there named after a dinosaur.

 

Trixie sat in one of the chairs waiting for Kim to return when the door opened and Farrah walked in. She notice Trixie sitting there on her phone and stopped in her tracks.

 

“Hey, I was just coming by to see if you were here. I tried to call you a bunch of times.”

 

“Oh I was out of town. I guess I didn’t get any messages.” Trixie only briefly looked up from her phone to glance at Farrah.

 

“Funny, I did try to reach you. I was actually going to talk to you about your album. I hope you don’t mind but I’ve been talking to Alaska and her team and I think they have a really great last song for you. It’ll be ready just before your album is out, don’t worry. Everything is perfect!”

 

Trixie didn’t want to completely shut her down but that plastic little face and high-pitch voice was making her mad.

 

“Wow, thank you so much for caring Farrah. You’re just such a great person.” Farrah smiled and nodded in agreement.

 

“I’m actually scrapping that whole album and making my own.” Trixie stood up and walk toward the door, she could see Kim walking back down the hall.

 

She turned to face Farrah. “I got it from here, thanks!” Kim finally made her way to the two of them. “Ready to go Trixie” Trixie nodded and turned back toward Farrah, “and Kim’s got me now. Maybe Alaska or Michelle are looking for an assistant. Tell them you’re looking for a new job.” Trixie opened the door and held it open for Farrah. “Thank you so much for stopping by. Have a great night!” And Farrah, stunned and speechless walked out.

 

“I can’t believe I just did that. Was that too mean? I don’t know what came over me honestly, I just had to say something.” Trixie started to word vomit as Kim locked up the front door.

 

“That was the most badass thing I’ve ever witnessed! But I definitely think it bedtime for you. Let go.” The two of them headed out of the office and hopefully to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that this story will only be 8 chapters long. I know, I'm sad too. I have other stories brewing tho!  
> I made a Tumblr so come talk to me there! I'm okaymissmary over there. And keep the comments coming! You keep me writing! Thanks :)


	6. What Color is my Tongue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give you a good update before I go on a little vacation. I'll be away for about a week and a half but fear not! I will return with an update and soon as I'm back!

“Okay, Trixie can you just run that last part again? I want to make sure we get the pitch right for the finish.” Adore was sitting on the other side of the glass in a small recording studio she had down in the basement of her house. The two of them have been working every day for the past week to get the album done. They were so close but Trixie was exhausted.

 

“If you promise this is the last take we do today, I’ll give you everything I got.” Trixie shot Adore the weakest thumbs-up and readjusted her headphone. Adore played back the music and Trixie put her last bit of energy into the song. When she finished, she knows she nailed it because Adore is jumping up and down in her booth. Trixie feels like she could crumble over and cry, right there.

 

The music was the easy part. They only spent two days getting the instrumentals down. She knew how to play the guitar and oddly enough the autoharp (Thanks to her mom and Dolly) and whatever other instruments she needed, Adore pulled strings to get people she trusted. The vocals are the part that drained her. She wasn’t hitting the note correctly or she wanted to change lyrics because singing it was different than writing it. There was always something wrong. She sent Kim home hours ago but now she wish she had her to just tell Adore they were done and Kim could just take her home.

 

“Trix! That’s it! That was your last song. You did it!” Adore ran into the room and wrapped herself around Trixie. Once Adore removed herself from Trixie, she stared at her waiting for a reply.

 

“Adore, are you going to hate me if I tell you that as much as I love all of those songs, really I do, none of them feel like my single.” Trixie sits back down on the stool feeling dejected.

 

“Not at all girl. Listen, if none of them feel like the right one, then don’t force it. This is your album and you have full control. We’ll get these mixed and sent to you for approval in the next few days and in the meantime, keep writing! If something strikes, we’ll go again. I’m here for you Trix.” Adore gave Trixie’s hand a squeeze, silently encouraging her to cheer up.

 

“You’re really a great friend Adore. I’m glad you stuck with me. Thank you for everything.” Trixie stood up and gave Adore a hug. She could see why she dated her and if her heart wasn’t so focused elsewhere, she's sure she would have a wonderful life with Adore.

 

“I love my friends and I’d do anything for them. That includes you. Also, I’m from Azusa so if you need me to fight someone, I can do that too.” Trixie just laughed, not wanting to know if Adore would really fight someone and doesn't necessarily want to find out.

 

“Well, as wonderful as this has been, I’m exhausted and I’m ready so just lay in bed. I’m gonna call an Uber.” Trixie clicked around on her phone as Adore gathered things, handing them to Trixie. Adore walked her up to the door and waited for the car to arrive.

 

“Don’t stress about the single. We have all the songs we need and the right one will come to you okay. You call the shots so just roll with it. Go home, eat some pizza and just relax.” There was a honk outside alerting Trixie of the car’s arrival. She gave Adore one last hug and left.

* * *

Morning came around and Trixie found herself lazing about. Exhaustion from the week hitting her like a train allowed her to sleep in until 10. When she was finally awake enough, she texted Kim to bring over “so much breakfast food.” Now she’s laying on the couch in the living room, still in her pajamas, waiting for Kim to arrive. She turned on the TV and found old episodes of Buffy playing. Watching them now, Trixie should have known that her rooting for Faith and Buffy to end up together should have been a dead give away to her being a lesbian.

 

She grabs her phone and hops onto Instagram to see if you can see what Sarah Michelle Geller or Eliza Dushku are up to now. Instagram stalking is her new favorite thing to do when she has downtime. She thought it was just a place to look at your friend’s photos until Kim showed her the comments on her own photos. Children she never met calling her mom and skinny legend. From there she discovered Kim’s talent as a makeup artist, Dolly Parton loves old photos of herself and Alicia Silverstone is a vegan mom now. She got far enough into Sarah Michelle Geller’s Instagram to see that she’s still married to Freddie Prinze Jr. when she heard her door open and two people talking to each other. She locked her phone and stood up to see who was with Kim.

 

“Hey Trixie, I found Dela outside.” Kim was pulling container of food out of the bags as Dela was grabbing dishes for them.

 

“I was coming over to see if Adore got any of the songs to you yet and see if you had album art ideas but breakfast sounds wonderful!” Dela places the plates down at the table and joins Kim in bringing the food over. Kim really did get so much food. There were pancakes, French toast, potatoes, eggs, bacon and sausage. She also brought orange juice and coffee.

 

Trixie grabbed one of the coffees she assumed was hers because it didn’t have a ring of lipstick on it like the other, and sat at the table. “Not yet. She said it would take a few days to mix. And I’ve given no extra thought to my album art.” Trixie grabbed a few pancakes, drowned them in syrup and spooned some potatoes on to her plate.

 

“Can we not talk about work right now? I’m so hungry and I don’t want to think about the album. Kim, how’s Naomi?” Trixie quickly changed the subject away from the album so she could enjoy her pancake, stress free.

 

“Oh she’s good. She’s visiting her mom now and then she’s going back to Chicago. I feel like this week was the most time I’ve spent with her in a while.” Kim is stuffing French toast into her mouth as soon as she finishes her sentence.

 

“I’m not the reason you haven’t seen her, am I?” It never occurred to her that she was keeping Kim from other things by asking her to do dumb things like bring her breakfast, a task she could really do on her own.

 

“Oh, no not at all. She just busy all the time. She models and runs this club with her friend called Club 96 in Chicago so she spends a lot of time there. They want to open one here in LA so when that happens, she’ll be around more.”

 

“Well of you ever want to go visit her in Chicago, just let me know!” Trixie goes back to eating her food, the three of them enjoying the company.

 

“Well Jinkx and I are thinking of adopting a baby soon.” Dela added to the conversation. Trixie dropped her fork and looked over at Dela in shock.

 

“You and Jinkx are married!!??” Trixie practically yelled at Dela. This was news to her. Sure they were friendly with each other but they always remained professional. Both Kim and Dela are looking at Trixie, confused about her reaction.

 

“Yeah Trixie. I didn’t think you were that drunk at the wedding. We actually just celebrated 6 years about a month ago so we think it’s time to think about having a family. You, of course, will always be our first baby Trixie, but I guess our clock is ticking and we’re ready.” Dela looks like she’s almost in a dream she the way she talks out her future.

 

Hearing the two of them share their love lives with Trixie makes her long for something like that. She never thought too much about it before but they both seem so happy to have someone. Kim is happy to have even a few hours with Naomi if that’s all she can get and Dela is talking about raising an actual child with Jinkx. What does her future hold? The thought of never having a great love like that stresses her out more than her album so she switches subjects again.

 

“SO I was thinking about my album art. I want it to be simple but me. This isn’t going to be some over produced thing so I want the art to reflect the new me I’m presenting.” Trixie pushes her plate away from her and looked back and forth between Dela and Kim waiting for a reply.

 

“I love that. We can get your glam to do something simple. I know a few photographers who I can call in favors for. This is very doable.” Dela grabs her phone and starts taping away.

 

“Well Trixie, if you what something authentically you, why not ask that photographer friend of yours? The one in WeHo?”

 

Trixie just smiled at Kim and her brilliant idea, Katya is perfect.

 

 **Trixie:** _Can you meet me at my office tomorrow? 10:00pm! Bring your camera gear!_

* * *

 

The next day, Trixie closed the office, wanting only a few people around. She, along with Dela, Jinkx, Kim and her glam team got her all dolled up and ready for the shoot.

 

She was wearing, what she has learned, was her typical makeup look. Heavy eyeliner, heavy blush, big eyelashes. It’s what Raven calls her “Full Melted Barbie Fantasy.” Delta has put so much fake hair on her head, she feels like a cat is sleeping on her like a crown. Her hair is huge but has the softest curls are hanging around her face with the top combed back into a sizable bump with a little bang across her forehead. Delta even dusted glitter into her hair. Raja has brought in a long sleeve pink large plaid printed dress that was tight around her chest but flowed out slightly to just above her knees. She wore white knee high patent leather boots to complete the look. She looked like a young Loretta Lynn or Tammy Wynette.

 

They cleared out the conference room to turn into a make shift photo studio with soft yellow back drop, a single stool and a table full of fun props. She heard a knocking at the front office door. Trixie ran over to the door, giddy, and answered it.

 

“Well good golly Miss Dolly, am I interrupting something?” Katya stood there, caught off guard, with a huge hard plastic case that held studio lights and her camera bag.

 

“Nope, you’re just in time! I’m hiring you. You’re going to shoot my album art.” Trixie said, grabbing Katya’s arm and walking her back toward the conference room. Katya tried to get Trixie’s attention but she just kept walking.

 

“Woah there, maybe all this hair is effecting your thinking but my photography doesn’t really scream ‘Trixie Mattel: America’s #1 Country Pop Sweetheart” Katya walks into the room of people and waves at them.

 

“Hi. I’m Dela. You must be Katya. I’m Trixie’s publicist and trust me, you are exactly what we need right now.” Dela stood shaking Katya’s had with a charming smile on her face.

* * *

 

“Perfect, now can I get you to put one hand on the stool and really lean into it? Yes! like that.” They’ve been at this for going on 2 hours now. They took a couple of portraits and now they’re trying some more poses, playing around with props, no real finale idea in mind.

 

Trixie stood over her stool, legs spread and her leaning over the back. She was having fun, like real actual fun. They work so well together. Trixie gets to play around with what Katya is visioning. Katya tries out all of Trixie’s ideas. Everyone is just standing there, watching in awe at the flow.

 

“Trixie you have this..-“ Katya set her camera down and walked up to Trixie, eyes never leaving each other. She was reaching up to push back a curl that had fallen into her face when she felt a hand smack hers away and the moment is broken.

 

“No one touches her pretty little head except me until this shoot it over.” Delta pulls out a fine tooth comb and a can of hair spray and finesses the curl back in it place.

 

Katya slowly back away with both hands up “Yes miss hair lady!” she salutes her and pick her camera back up.

 

“I have one last idea.” Katya sets her camera down and runs over to the props. She grabs the guitar and auto harp. She gives Trixie the autoharp first and makes sure the guitar is out of frame.

 

“Now, just play.” Trixie looks at her for a moment bewildered. There are so many more people in this room than she’s used to playing for. She takes a deep breath, sits on the stool and plays. It’s nothing at first but the more she strums, the more a melody develops. She looks over at Katya and sees her backed away from the camera just a bit, smiling. 

Whatever Katya is seeing, whatever she’s capturing on her camera she knows it’s what’s in Trixie’s heart. It’s a hundred percent her.

* * *

 

“Oh wow these really did come out incredible Katya.” Trixie clicked through the photos on her computer in her office.

 

“Yeah you don’t think having you play was a dumb idea?” Katya leaned forward to try and get a closer look at her work.

 

“Are you kidding me? This one of me, eyes closed, totally focused on playing, it’s perfect.” They’re looking at each other, letting their gaze linger. Katya clears her throat and looks at her phone, her lock screen is of her and Violet.

 

“Oh well, it’s getting late. I should get home.” She stands up and grabs her bag. Trixie stands with her. She doesn’t want the day to end. She and Katya have connect more today than anytime before and it’s too comfortable for her to give up just yet.

 

“You know what I really want?” She pauses for just a second, looking at Katya, “Razzles!”

 

“Razzles? I haven’t had Razzles in 15 years!” Katya say is a deep old man voice.

 

“Well they are quite incredible you see because they are both a candy and a gum.”

 

The two of them walk down to an old little store down the street just to see and there they were, a bit dusty and probable expired but they didn’t care. The nostalgia was worth the risk.

 

They start walking down the street, sharing the box of Razzle, enjoying each others company. Katya is looking off into the distance and giggling softly.

 

“What weirdo, why are you laughing?” Trixie asked, gently bumping into Katya.

 

“I don’t know. Life? Timing? The fact that I’m here with you, eating Razzles.” The were silent for a moment, taking in their life now.

 

“Katya, I really enjoyed spending time with you today. I missed my best friend and today felt right.” Trixie said looking down at the sidewalk.

 

“Me too. I like having you back.” Katya looked over at Trixie and smiled.

 

“Hey Kat, can I ask you something?” Trixie stopped and spun Katya around to face her, “What color is my tongue?” she stuck it out at Katya.

 

“It’s red but not like normal red. It’s definitely Razzle red” Katya poked Trixie’s tongue and she immediately brought it back into her mouth.

 

“Ew you’re so gross” Trixie laughed, “Okay let me see yours.”

 

“No ya fuckin creep.” Katya put on a thick Boston accent.

 

“I showed you mine, show me yours!” Katya rolled her eye and stuck her tongue out.

 

Trixie scream at the sight of Katya’s tongue while informing her it’s also red.

 

When she calmed down, she looked away briefly then look directly into Katya’s eyes, “Hey Kat, can I tell you a secret?” Katya just nodded.

 

“You’re still my favorite person.” Katya look at her and smiled, too afraid to say anything.

 

Then, without thinking, she leaned forward, grabbed the sides of Trixie’s face, gently rubbing her cheek with her thumb. Trixie was all Katya could see or think about. She pulled her in and kissed her. I was just a soft kiss at first but when Trixie kissed her back, they kissed with urgency and longing and for a moment it was just them.

 

Trixie’s whole body was on fire. She’s never felt something like this before. It was like magic was coursing through her and it gave her full body goose bumps. For the first time she thought, this is what love must feel like.

 

Katya pulled away first, realizing what she had just done. This isn’t not who she is. She doesn’t just go around kissing people, kissing Trixie. She had Violet and a wedding.

 

They stood there, looking down at their feet, avoiding eye contact. Katya pulled out a cigarette, lit it and sat down on the curb. Trixie joined her, both of them speechless, trying to process what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! Sorry about this ending! I know, it pains me too. Let know in the comments how you feel :)
> 
> Also for reference, this drawing is what inspired the album art look: https://www.instagram.com/p/ByyitRHJklU/


	7. Moving Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy this one is a tough one! Brace yourself!

A few days have passed and all Trixie can do is lay in bed and ignoring her phone. She’s gotten really good at it. So many wild things have happened in the last few weeks but kissing Katya felt right and wrong and confusing and magical. She didn’t know what to do or how to process it.

 

She can hear someone let themselves in her house and the footsteps of that person making their way toward her room. She doesn’t even flinch at the thought of it being someone there to murder her. Honestly, at this point, she’s ready. It could be Jason Voorhees himself and she couldn’t care less.

 

There’s a gentle knock at her door and then Dela peeks her head in.

 

“Hi, if you’re going to stab me, can you do it quickly?’ Trixie says while lying on her stomach with her eyes closed.

 

Dela came in and sat next to Trixie and started rubbing soothing circles oh her back. “Oh honey bunches. What happened? Did you let Katya into your lady bits and now you’re sad because she’s getting married?”

 

“No but kinda.” Trixie said muffled into her bed. She popped up a moment later realizing Dela just exposed her.

 

“Wait, how did you know this was about Katya?” She said sitting up to face Dela.

 

“Oh Trixie, come on. You two were eye-fucking each other the whole photo shoot!” Trixie gasped, grabbed a pillow and covered her face.

 

Dela moved the pillow away from face and really looked her in the eye, “Really, are you going to be okay?” she asked. Dela was really the closet thing Trixie had to a best friend at this point, though she was more like her mother than anything.

 

“Yeah. We kissed the other night and it felt like my whole world clicked into place and now I feel like I’m dying.” Trixie plopped herself back so she was laying down, legs across Dela’s lap. 

 

“That’s love kiddo. It’s wonderful and fulfilling but it’s also painful and overwhelming. No one really warns you about the breaking of your heart.”

 

“My mom told me recently that if I ever feel stuck to remember that I can just pick up the pieces and go back to the start.” She smiled up at Dela.

 

They sat there for a beat, then Trixie popped up in bed and looked at Dela wide-eyed and then gave her a sly smile.

 

“I think I have my single! Grab me a pen and paper! I need to write it down! And call Adore!” Dela hops up and scurries away to find Trixie’s song journal and phone.

 

* * *

Katya is sitting at a table in her apartment, facing a large window. Since the kiss, she hasn’t really been able to focus on anything. It’s a miracle that she was able to sit for a few hours and go through her email and get some photo shoots booked. She’s so focused, in fact, she doesn’t hear the door open and close and someone cross the room until they have their hands over her eyes.

 

She reached up with a smile grabbing the hands, “Hey. I wasn't expecting to see you...”

 

She trails off when she turns around realizes it's really not at all who she expected. Or at least who she wanted to see.

 

“Violet. I thought you were flying in tomorrow.” She pulls her in for a hug mostly to try and hid her disappointed face.

 

Violet pulled away looking slightly confused, “What, are you expecting someone else?”

 

Katya smiled, “No. Hi. How are you?” she leaned in and gave her a quick kiss.

 

“I’m fabulous. I brought lunch! You hungry?” Violet is holding up a bag Katya just knows only has salads in it.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Let's sit. This is such a surprise.” Katya closes her computer and they head over to the couch. Katya plops down and Violet sits next to her and swings her legs out across Katya’s lap, getting as close to her as she can.

 

They sit like that, silently eating their fancy salads.

 

“So how was your flight?” Katya finally spoke, the silence was too quiet for her.

 

“It was good.” Violet was picking at her food. “It gave me time to think about you moving. You know you can take photos anywhere? Like there’s just as much opportunity in New York as there is here.” Katya isn’t responding, she just looking down at her salad.

 

“I was just thinking that we should try to resolve this now, you know, so we’re not so far away from each other in our first year of marriage.” Violet put her salad down on the coffee table and gently grabbed Katya face to get her attention. 

 

“Hello, babe, are you listening?”

 

“Hi, What? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Could you...? I missed that.” Katya shakes her head trying to refocused on whatever Violet was trying to talk to her about.

 

Violet rolled her eyes and flopped herself backwards to lay on the couch.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Trixie is in her conference room pacing. She called her team in a half hour ago and now she’s just waiting for them to arrive. After spending the night perfecting her final song with Adore, she was ready to present the album to everyone. She starts to hear voices down the hall in the lobby, making their way toward her.

 

One by one, Dela, Jinkx, Adore, Kim, Raven, Raja and Delta all make their way in at sit around the table.

 

She picks up a big poster of the photo Katya took of her, sitting on a stool, eyes closed, playing her auto harp in her pink plaid dress and big blonde hair. In big yellow letters placed above her reads, “ _Now With Moving Parts_ ”

 

“Hello everyone. I know this is different. I mean, from anything I’ve ever done and I know you might hate it and my fans might hate it and think I'm completely crazy but honestly, I won't care.” Trixie could see the concern looks her team was already shooting her. Adore was the only other person in this room besides herself who as heard any of the new music.

 

“I don't mean that disrespectfully, it's just that I've realized something. I don’t know who I am. I know who I’m supposed to be: Trixie Mattel, America’s Country Pop Sweetheart. The foul mouthed Barbie version of Taylor Swift or whatever but I want to be more than a brand. I want every little girl or boy to see me and see someone who isn’t taking who they are too seriously. Yes I’m wearing too much blush and rhinestone cowboy boots but I’ll sit there and sing about what it feels to love someone who can’t love you back or about how I hate getting all dressed up sometimes.” Trixie can tell everyone is slowly following what she’s saying and staying supportive, which is what’s most important.

 

“Anyways, all I’m trying to say is, I love me and I love that people love me but I want to make sure the me I’m putting out there is 100% me and that’s what I want to do with this album. It’s me but _Now With Moving Parts_.” Trixie has finally looked around the room but couldn’t get a read, everyone looked right at her, speechless.

 

Dela was the first one to move. She hopped out of her chair and ran over to Trixie, wrapping her in a hug, “Trixie, I love it. I love you. You’re an all star and everyone is gonna see that.”

 

The rest of the team joined in on a group hug, chiming in with their own “Bravo!” and “Brilliant.” and “We’re so proud”

 

Dela looked at Trixie and smiled “We will release the single first thing tomorrow morning.”

 

* * *

 

Trixie couldn’t wait to tell Katya about her album, her single, and her new outlook on her life. She went straight from the office to her apartment.

 

She knocked on the door and Violet answered the door in just a t-shirt.

 

“Hi! It’s Tracy, right? “Violet leaned against the door frame, fake smile plastered across her face.

 

“It’s Trixie. I was looking for Katya, I wanted to tell her some really great news about her photographs and my new album. Everyone loved the album art.”

 

“That's great! I’ll tell her when she gets back. She went to pick up her dress.”

 

For some reason that really caught her off guard. “Her dress?”

            

“You know Kat, everything is so the last minute with her. I mean, hello! Our fight is tonight and we're getting married tomorrow. I was really hesitant at first but I think this backyard wedding is going to be so shabby chic!”

 

 “Congratulations.” Trixie mustered up as much fake enthusiasm as she could.

 

“Thanks! I'll tell Katya you stopped by. Congrats on the album.” Then Violet closed the door.

 

“Okay, bye.” Trixie said to the door before turning and walking away.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Trixie was sitting in her living room with Dela waiting for any kind of feedback about the single _Moving Parts._ They released it on all platforms an hour ago and Dela took her phone and told her to wait at least an hour to give everyone time to listen. Trixie was just lounging on the couch, distracting herself with a Tamigatchi she found in a drawer that morning.

 

The song is about picking up the pieces after something happened and moving on and growing from it. She knows in her heart she wrote for Katya. Or maybe she wrote it for herself because her life is a mess and she needed a way to work through it. None of that mattered because it was being listened to by so many people around the world who would find their own meaning. She only kind of hoped one of those people would be Katya.

 

“YOU’RE THE NUMBER ONE TRENDING TOPIC WORLDWIDE RIGHT NOW!” Dela shouted, causing Trixie to jump up.

 

“Is that good because the yelling could go either way” Dela nodded and started reading some of the tweets.

 

_“Oh my god!!!! @TrixieMattel snatched my wig right off!!! I’m living for #MovingParts!”_

 

_“I’M IN A PUDDLE OF MY TEARS @TRIXIEMATTEL! APOLOGIZE MOM! #MovingParts”_

_“Seriously moved after hearing @TrixieMattel new song #MovingParts. Is it just me or is this a new side of her? She really put her emotions into this one._

 

_“Oh honey, Moving Parts? Sounds like my Friday honey…because I’ll be listening to it on repeat. @trixiemattel #MovingParts”_

 

_“Well Yee-Haw dykes! @TrixieMattel is back and better than ever! #MovingParts #AvalibleoniTunes”_

 

“Okay so is this good or bad?” Trixie still is unsure because the youth today clearly don’t have a direct way of expressing their feelings.

 

“Trixie, these are wonderful reviews and these are your fans. They’re still here and weird and loving and calling you mom. They get it and they love it. They love you. I told you, All Star.”

 

Trixie was happy, really. She’s living her dream, making her own music and people love it and she’s happy. But she can’t help but think something is missing. None of this would be happening if it weren't for Katya but now she off in San Francisco, getting married to Violet and Trixie missed her. Deep in her core, can’t stop thinking about her, arms are aching to hug her, miss her.

 

“Dela, this is wonderful! I’m so happy but –”Dela stopped Trixie before she could even say it.

 

“But none of this validation is from Katya and she’s about to get married and you need to tell her how you feel. I’ll book you a ticket right now.”

 

“I don’t need her validation Dela, I need her.”

 

“Then go get your girl.”

 

Trixie just gave her a quick hug before running to her room to grab a few things.

 

* * *

Trixie’s Uber arrives at her mom’s house and next door is littered with people both attending the wedding and people still setting everything up. She doesn’t even bother with going into her childhood home, she heads straight for the person holding a giant floral arrangement and grabs it. She holds it up to her face so she could walk in the house without being noticed.

 

She was dressed low-key in a light pink sweater and a pair of black leggings, hair lying mostly limp around her face. She’s just trying to get up to Katya’s old bedroom where she knows she’ll be getting ready, without Katya’s parents or her own mom or sister spotting her.

 

She gets upstairs and sees Violet being fussed with in the guest room. She really looks beautiful but this isn’t how it should be. She could walk by in a big bird costume and not a single person in that room would notice. Trixie just rolls her eyes, placed the flowers outside the door and continued down the wall to Katya.

 

When she opened the door, Katya had her back turned to her, looking out the window. She’s in her gown, a beautiful cream colored, form-fitting dress with huge flowing lace arms. She looked amazing and she hasn’t even turned around yet.

 

The sound of the door closing finally caught her attention and made her turn around.

 

“Trixie, what are you doing here?” Katya has a sly smile like she knew Trixie would be here.

 

“I released my new song.” Trixie was still standing by the door, not knowing if she should move just yet.

 

“Yeah, actually, I listened to it this morning. It’s really beautiful, Trix.” Trixie smiled knowing Katya like the song, her song.

 

“I am not the awful person that I know that I used to be. The one you remember from the past” Trixie finally got the courage to move toward Katya.

 

“And I'd like to believe - I have to believe that if you knew that and if you listened to my song, than you know in your heart, who I am. And if that’s true, then you wouldn't be getting ready to marry someone now...unless that someone were me.” Trixie looked at Katya a little teary-eye, scared of whatever was coming next.

 

“Trixie, I'm not gonna lie to you. The past few weeks, I have felt things that I haven’t felt in years. But I also realized that you can’t just turn back time and change the past. I am who I am right now because of everything I’ve lived through.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I moved on. You moved on. We've gone down different paths for so long. We made choices. I chose Violet.” That last part stabbed through Trixie’s heart the moment it left Katya’s mouth and the tears started to fall but Trixie kept an understanding smile.

 

“That's her family down there. We care about each other, you know? You don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close.” Trixie is nodding, even though Katya’s words are lost on her at this point and she starts backing away toward the door, trying to compose herself.

 

“Please don't cry, Trix.”

 

“Oh, I'll be fine, I promise.” Trixie wipes a tear away and takes a deep breath.

 

Katya walks over to her old closet and opens the door. There on the top shelf, she pulled down the dream house she made Trixie all those years ago. It was a little jostled around inside but to Trixie, it’s just as perfect as it was on her 13th birthday.

 

“Katya, can I have it?” Trixie ask also in a whisper, emotions making it hard for her to speak.

 

“You're not gonna throw it at me again are you?” Katya is trying to lighten the mood. Trixie just shakes her head no, eyes still locked on the doll house.

 

Katya places the dollhouse in her hands and Trixie looks up at her, “Look, I won't have you be late to your own wedding. Just go.” Trixie says, tears in her eyes once again.

 

Katya gives her a concerned look. Trixie gives her a teary smiles and slowly makes her way back to the door.

 

“Go on. I'm fine. I'm just crying because I'm happy. I want you to be so, so happy.” The tears are really coming down now but Trixie is still putting on a brave face.

 

“I love you, Katya. You're my best friend.” Trixie finally reaches the door when Katya calls her attention.

 

“Trixie, I've always loved you.” Katya is looking down, unable to look at Trixie, too scared of saying it to her face.

 

That’s the last thing she heard, she couldn’t just stand there anymore. She opened the door and ran out unable to keep her tears back any longer.

 

Trixie made her way back down the stairs unseen. Everyone has taken their places in the backyard, waiting for the wedding to start. She still tip-toes out of the house and across the driveway, stealing a peek at the wedding party lining up, probably waiting for Katya.

 

She only makes it to her mom’s front porch, sets down the dollhouse and takes a deep breath, trying to just pull herself together. In the distance he hears the wedding march music begin to play. It distracts her for a moment before the turns her attention back to the dollhouse.

 

Trixie’s Dream Home. Katya knew her so well. The tiny pink walls in her bedroom. The little record player in the corner with Dolly Parton and June Carter Cash records leaning against it. There she was, laying back in the tub, reading a magazine. Paul Rudd, who still held a special place in her heart, sat on the couch and Katya, standing there, camera around her neck.

 

Katya always loved her.

 

Trixie, even living what she thought was her dream life, was miserable. Not even 10 feet away, her best friend, the love of her life, was marrying another person and she was sitting on her mom’s porch, crying at a dollhouse.

 

She closed her eyes and made a wish. A wish to be 13 again. To go back to the moment in the closet that changed her whole life.

 

She wished she had Katya back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last. I'm ALSO sad but we'll get though it together. Please leave a comment :)


	8. Trixie's Dream Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's over.

San Francisco 2002. Trixie woke up to music playing in the distance. She reached up and pulled the blindfold off her eyes. She was sitting in the closet of her mom’s basement. She looked down and realized she was 13 again and smiled. The wish actually worked! She can hear muffled voices coming from the other side of the closet that sound like Katya and Farrah.

 

 “Um, what’s going on? Where’s Trixie?”

 

“Oh she’s waiting for you in the closet but I think she should just come out.” A giggle. “Bye lezbo!” Trixie is rolling her eyes. There’s footsteps going up the stairs and finally she hears Katya walking toward the closet.

 

Katya puts down the small wrapped gift and opens the closet door slowly. Trixie is just standing there waiting for the door to be fully opened. She’s antsy and nervous to see Katya again. Her Katya.

 

As soon as Katya is in view, she jumps at her, yelling her name and pulling her into a hug. The force knocks them down. Trixie, pinning Katya to the ground, leans down and kisses her, stunning Katya. Her face breaks out into a wide smile.

 

“Wow, you’re really good at that.” Katya wiggles her eyebrows.

 

“Shut up.” Trixie laughs and stands up and helps Katya to her feet. Together they walk toward the stairs. Farrah is standing there at the top with her hand out.

 

“I forgot my scarf.” Trixie took it off her neck and slammed it into her hand then snatched the report she wrote out of Farrah’s hand and tore it in half.

 

“You know what, you can figure out your own life, beoch.” Trixie reached for Katya’s hand and pulled her up the stairs, leaving Farrah shocked and confused.

 

* * *

 

The two of them sat on Trixie’s bed holding hands, avoiding eye contact. They are 13 so they don’t really know what their next steps are or even the full complexity of their sexuality but Trixie figured that explaining herself is a good start.

 

“I mean this is kinda crazy Trix. I’ve always liked you and I only want to try and figure this out if you absolutely want. I’ll still like you if this isn’t what you want.” Katya looks down at her hands. She was never able to tell Trixie how she felt before, as she wasn’t even sure what exactly she felt, and it made her scared and excited to confront her feelings now.

 

“Katya. I don’t know how to properly explain this but something happened and I got to see a world where we were adults and we weren’t friends. I had a huge music career and a rock star girlfriend and Kim and Dela who were my only support. None of that mattered though because I didn’t have you. Not even as a friend. And when I did finally find you again, it was too late. You had someone else and I was miserable.”

 

“Okay, I have to admit you do sound a little crazy and that’s coming from me.” Katya giggled.

 

“I know trust me, I thought I was going crazy.” Trixie shakes her head at the memories of her confusion. Are they even memories? It’s really hard to know what was real.

 

“Regardless if that world was real or a dream, I learned that it’s better to have one friend who you know and trust than to wish for popularity or fame because it’s nothing without the people you love.” Trixie smiled at Katya brightly.

 

“That’s pretty insightful for someone who just turned 13.” Katya cocked her head at Trixie playfully.

 

“Trust me, I can’t even fully comprehend what I’m saying either. The point is, you’re my best friend and I don’t want to do life without you.” Trixie finally met Katya’s eyes and they both smile. For the first time in what feels like forever, Trixie feels hopeful.

 

* * *

San Francisco 2019. Trixie and Katya were in Katya’s childhood bedroom. They should have gotten ready in separate houses, that much is obvious, but it far too late for that. Katya has Trixie pinned against the wall, kissing her down her neck.

 

“Don’t, you’ll get red all over me.” Trixie tried to object, breathless. She is putting no effort into getting Katya off of her.

 

“Mama, it’s transfer proof. Raven isn’t dumb.” She ran her finger across her bottom lip and showed the clean finger to Trixie. “Do you really want me to stop?” Trixie just shook her head no and Katya carried on.

 

“Wait...wait...stop.” Trixie gently pushed Katya off her. “Everyone is waiting for us. Jamie and Kim will be in the other room, any minute now, to help me with my dress. I have to go.”

 

“Fine, but only because this ass is all mine later.” Katya gives Trixie’s butt a gentle pinch on her way out the door.

  

When Trixie opened the door, Raven and Delta were standing there about to walk in, coming to do Katya’s hair and touch-ups on her makeup. Judgment was written all over their face.

 

“I don’t want to know. I don’t need to know. I don’t even see you.” Raven said closing her eyes, waving Trixie off.

 

Trixie giggled before shimmied around them and walk over to the guest room. She felt like she was floating.

 

She opened the door and just she expected, her sister and Kim sat on the bed staring her down. They sat there in silence eyeing her before Jamie broke.

 

“Shit. Okay, here.” Jamie hands Kim a five. “I knew it! Thank you for your help funding my next burrito bowl.” Kim shoved the money in her bra.

 

Trixie stood there with her arms crossed, waiting for a response she already knows the answer to.

 

“Can you please just help me get ready. This is my day and I will not let you two bully me.” They laughed and Trixie joined. The two stood up and joined Trixie, fussing about trying to help her finish up getting ready.

 

An hour later, Trixie was standing in the kitchen bouncing on the balls of feet. Her mom has her arm looped with Trixie’s, waiting for their cue.

 

She can hear the music coming in from the backyard, floating though the living room where she knew Katya was waiting with her parents.

 

“Breath Bee, there’s nothing to be nervous about.” She gently strokes Trixie’s arm, trying to sooth her.

 

“Nervous?” Trixie giggles, “I’m not nervous mom, not at all. I ‘m just so excited”

 

Right on queue, her music cue starts up, Trixie and her mom walk into the living room. As they get to the back door, it swings open.

 

Everyone is standing, probably haven’t sat since Katya walked down the aisle.

 

Katya. That’s all Trixie sees standing there, waiting for her. 

 

This was how it was always supposed to be for them. They always loved each other and today was their start of forever.

 

* * *

Once the wedding ceremony was over and they danced and schmoozed their way through the reception, Trixie and Katya ran hand in hand out the front door of the house. Their friends and family line the path, tossing confetti at them.

When Trixie stated to build her career, she made a point to seek out the people she remembered from her 30-year-old life. Regarless if that time was real or not, they made her feel safe when she was lost and confused. She would be amiss if she didn't at least try and look for them. Some of them needed convincing but she managed to get her whole team back.

Her glam squad was the easiest to locate. She found Raven, Raja and Delta performing at a drag show in LA. They quickly agreed to join her. Dela was a stay at home mom, spending her days raising her and Jinkx’s daughter Chloe. She took some convincing but in the end, Dela felt a motherly pull to Trixie and ultimately decided to manage her. Together, she and Dela signed Adore on as her producer as she was currently self producing her own hit music. Kim was the hardest to find but after the hopeful stumbling into her fifth Sephora in one week, Trixie heard her favorite lisp and made her an offer on spot and now she’s her best friend. Well, after Katya that is. She couldn't ask for a better team. They were a part of her family.

Trixie can’t stop smiling at Katya. Once they get to the car, they stop to share one last kiss for the guests. Katya sneaks her phone out of her bra and quickly opened the camera to document the moment.

 

“Should we post it. Watch your fans go crazy?” Katya asked, wiggling her phone in front of Trixie’s face. She laughed, “Gotta give the dykes what they want.”

 

_@TrixieMattel: Well, I guess I’m stuck with @Katya_Zamo now. Watch out straights, we’re married now!_

 

They hop in the car, and start their journey to the airport for their honeymoon. Dela is an angel and got them a private jet to eliminate the chance of the press finding out where they’re going.

 

“I’m exhausted.” Trixie kicks of her white rhinestone cowboy boots and puts her feet up on the center console.

 

“Okay I know I’m your friend but think of me as an Uber and don’t subject me to smelling your nasty feet.” Kim nudged Trixie’s feet from their spot.

 

“You’re lucky I’m too happy and tired to fight you Kimberly.” Trixie swung her feet up to the seat beside her and laid her upper body across Katya’s lap.

 

"We’re just getting started.” Katya leans down and kisses Trixie. She leans back and the two of them relax in their new bliss before the they start their lives together.

 

* * *

2021 Los Angeles. Trixie is placing a framed picture of her and Katya on their wedding day and one of them as children on the mantle of a fireplace. She smiles at the memories before rolling up her sleeves and heading back outside to help Katya with more boxes.

 

They have been moving into their new house all day. They tried for a few years to find a house the both of them liked but there was always something missing.

 

Trixie wanted the outside to be soft pink like on her dream house Katya made made her when she was a child. Katya needed there to be a porch big enough for her morning yoga. Trixie wanted a basement to turn into recording studio. Katya wanted an extra room for a photo studio. They both wanted it fully gated, for privacy. They both thought they should have space to grow a family one day whether that’s a cat or a kid. There were too many specifics.

 

One day after another wasted day going house to house, Katya said to Trixie, “I could just make our dream house. Well not me because I’m not built for hard labor but I can hire someone to build us our dream house.”

 

Trixie thought she was joking, worn out from yet another showing that was close to perfect but was missing a few little things they didn’t want to have to compromise on.

 

She should know by now that Katya means what she says.

 

It took almost a year of selecting paints and choosing flooring and picking cabinets and buying appliances before it was perfect. They were both wealthy woman and money was no object in making sure everything was exactly as they pictured. When they finally saw the finished product, they felt at home.

 

So here they are, a few week after it was completed, moving into the Mattel-Zamolodchikova Dream house.

 

“This is so much work! Why didn’t we hire movers? I’m a rich person. You’re a rich person. Clearly we’re dumb people.” Trixie plopped down on the couch sitting in their front yard.

 

Katya put down the box she was carrying and joined Trixie on the couch.

 

“Well when I suggested it you said something along the lines of ‘we made people build the thing, the least we can do is move our stuff in. Can’t be too hard.” Katya poorly imitated Trixie’s voice.

 

“You should have known I would hate this and just called them anyway. Babe, I don’t do shit for myself.” Trixie adjusted herself so her head was laying in Katya’s lap and closing her eyes.

 

“You’re right. In fact, they’ll be here in about 2 hours with the rest of our stuff and we’ll have them for the rest of the day to move things in. We’ll just have to unpack the small stuff.” Katya smiled slyly down at Trixie and stroked the top of her head.

 

“You let me do all that manual labor knowing you hired someone to do it for me?” Trixie’s eyes popped open at the news.

 

“Yes. To prove a point and now that I have, lets go take a nap.” Katya nudged Trixie’s head up with her leg to let her know she was getting up. The both of them got up and stretched before heading inside.

 

“You have to be big spoon now. You owe me.” Trixie grabbed Katya’s hand has they walked upstairs to their room which only has a mattress laying on the floor. Katya requested that it be the first thing brought over so they could christen the house. Boy did they ever and that’s probably half the reason they’re so exhausted.

 

“Whatever you want babe. It’s your dream life, Barbie.” Katya winked at Trixie.

 

“Damn right. Dream house, dream job, dream girl.” They stop at the end of the mattress. Trixie pulls Katya in for a kiss, both too tried to take it further.

 

“Now spoon me!” Trixie plopped herself down on the mattress and Katya followed behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! Thank you all who stuck with me through to the end! It's been a joy! Who knows, maybe we'll revisit this universe...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I wrote after crying while watching 13 Going on 30 once again, thinking...how can I make this gay? Please let me know what you think!


End file.
